Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Going for dinner with the SBCA, just have to vent my frustrations out now, or else I'll realli explode! Went to relief teach again today. Then I went into 2N1, a class I'll be taking over next month onwards. Totally man...they dun give a damn abt mi, making a hell of a noise in class, I feel lyk juz slapping all of dem! Then one boy came & asked mi if I'm Miss or Mrs? Juz for the fun of it, I said Mrs. He was so shocked, but dun look lyk he doubt mi lor! He den turned arnd & tell another boy, "eh she is married leh!" Then dat boy came & say, "teacher so chio of cos married la!" I was lyk trying to control myself frm laughing. Den they asked mi how old am I? I shrugged my shoulders. Den they start 2 guess la. One say 20+, I shaked my head. Then dat one dat believed i'm married (he looks lyk the head of dat noisy gang), asked if I'm 30+, I said yes. Then he said "30+ but less than 40?" I said yes. Damn funny man, he realli believed mi! Den the other one dat say I pretty one a bit smarter la, he say," No la, looks lyk 18 or 19". I shrugged my shoulders again. Then they asked mi if I have children, I said "ya, alot." Hahaha..den i can hear dem discussing, one say impossible, another say, young oso can have children..Crap, all no brains one.
Then I went into diz sec 2 express class. Overall they're quite ok, doing their own stuff. Only for this one skinny boy. He asked mi wad's my name, so I said "Miss Fong". Then later I heard him say," Teacher u veri pretty, & squat behind his table. LAME. Then later he was playing a fool wif his frenz, so I stared at him. It's den I saw his frens telling him, "eh she looking at u liao!", & he looked smug. OK, i noe wad's he trying to do liao, he's trying to gain my attention. The next thing I noe, he's doing one hand push-ups at the side of the class, in front of the teacher's table. I asked him wad the hell he's doing, he said he got muscle-ache. Then he continued stretching in the funniest positions. HaR~ I noe wad he's trying to do so I purposely dun even look at his direction. Hope he muscle tear tmr cannot go sch ar...
The worst came on the last period. It's English lesson, den students frm 2N1, 2N2 & 2N3 combine according to their standards. So I'm seeing those monkeys again. They were making SO much noise & I can't control dem, the teacher next door have to cum in to scold, I was lyk SO humiliated, lyk I can't control the class liddat. I was standing there so looking so helpless. Then I heard the students shout,"teacher he ran out without telling u!" The next thing that happened was that those monkeys went to lock the 2 doors, so dat boy cannot cum in. I din stop dem, tinking dat who ask dat boy 2 run out without telling mi. Then they were making so much commotion at the back door I was so irritated. I went to the back door, open it, shouted at the boy outside," You wan to stay outside you stay outside." & slammed the door. Wad the...the bunch of monkeys went," Woahh!" & all clapped hands & cheered. By den my head throbbing already. After a while I felt I was quite harsh, I went out, dat boy was still standing outside. OH my god, I felt SO bad, he's actually a small timid boy & he looks lyks he's gg to cry anytime. So I asked him wad's his class. He hesitated, den said 2N1, but i dun believe him la, tink is 2N3. I asked him why he ran out of the class, he say is the boys lock the door one. I den told him to go back in & dun do it again. You noe wad!? He went to a corner of the room & squatted there, while the rest of the boys are making fun of him. I went over & scolded the boys (apparently they din care la), & as I was going to talk that poor boy, the bell rang. As I walked back to the staffrm, my heart wad throbbing, I knew I was going to cry any moment. So I went to find Mrs Lim to talk to her, I'm supposed 2 relief her frm next month. I told her I realli dun tink I can control the 2N classes, cos they lyk totally dun fear me, den I told her abt that boy I scolded, & dat I felt SO bad for hurting that poor boy's ego. She asked mi to relax & taught me sum ways to deal wif dem.
You noe, It's only until today dat I realised, I may not be cut out to be a teacher, I totally lost hope in everything. I feel dat I'm too harsh to that poor boy! Oh my god...wad can I do!?! I juz told Dulcia we have to eat something veri good later...work so hard, get myself all diz trauma, of cos must spend on good food la! I'm still not fully calmed down now...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/28/2004 05:09:00 PM|
