Thursday, May 13, 2004
Thought Of The Day
Being so bored at home, I went to the library to try my luck, & true enough, I managed to borrow the newest book of my fav author! It's a book of short stories of different pple, whose relationships are all interlinked. After 2 chapters, the first frm the perception of the ger and the 2nd frm the perception of the guy, it set me thinking again...
The ger helps out in a book rental store with her grandmother, and every 2 days without fail, this guy who's relief teaching at the sch opposite, will come in to patronize..whether it is to loan new books or to return the old books. Even though he comes in every 2 days for all of 3 months, they never talked...only acknowledged the other person's presence. One day, when X'mas is approaching, he asked her if they sell X'mas cards, she checked and told him they'd ran out of it, and to come back tmr. When she went home, she opened a box of cards frm the new stock, and took out a card. On it, she wrote a simple note on one of the cards, to tell him that she had been noticing him arnd. He bought the set of cards the next day.
When sch reopened, he didn't come to patronize anymore, which made her wonder if her note had turned him away. Until one day when she met up with her old fren, who brought her bf along...which is him. (Dun ask how come it's so coincidental, it's a NOVEL) She felt so awkward, she left halfway.
3 yrs later, he came into the shop again. He told her he's not doing relief teaching anymore, but being a permanent teacher now. She juz nodded.Then at that instant, her present bf came in. That guy was very disappointed and left, leaving her asking why is it that time and chance is playing a fool on her? Last time when she's single, he's attached. Now he's single, and came back especially to look for her, and she's attached. And deep down she knew, that the feelings she had for her present bf, is not as much as what she had for him, there is juz this attraction between them that cannot be explained.
The last time he came into the bookshop, he told her he only started sending X'mas cards diz yr, which means that he only saw her note this yr, 3 yrs down the road. What if he's seen it 3 yrs ago...would things have been different?
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Many times, we like someone, but do not dare to let him/her noe. Why? The fear of rejection, & the awkwardness if we're to still see each other. But like the story above, there're many a times when both parties have feelings for each other but do not dare to express it, or maybe, waiting for the other party to initiate it. And usually, we end up waiting and waiting and decided to settle for someone else who comes along. And if fates wants to make a fool of you, you'll meet that special someone again few years down the road, only to find out that he/she did have a mutual attraction for you at that time. But isn't it all too late?
I'd waited for quite some time already, and I dunno if it's worth it. I'll juz kill myself if many years down the road, I find out that he did like me before. If that's the case, I rather he never liked me...seriously. There's a quote which I'd kept in my phone for quite some time now..juz to remind mi of the possibilities.
~*"It's a shame when an older man and woman see each other at a high sch reunion and confesses, decades too late, that they both had secret feelings for each other"*~
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* xuan * listened
@ |5/13/2004 11:34:00 AM|
