Saturday, October 30, 2004
Oh man...I'm shocked at all my dear frenz' responses... now I noe dat u pple have been reading my blog. Always wondered if my blog is for my own reading onli, due to the "lifeless" tagboard. Now I'm thankful...haha. Firstly I'll like to thank all my frenz for ur support...I was actually quite worried if I'd made the right decision and frm the responses I see... I already noe the answer. Thanks babe... I promise I'll do my best for it... to take up a new challenge. Oh man... it's been so long since I took up a great challenge man. Haha, on fri I went ktv wif Peizhi and I insisted on singing in the hall. She was reluctant at first obviously.... but thanx to my "teh-ing" skills I got my way. Dunno how cum leh... but singing in hall lyk got no diff frm singing in the room... no fun one. Ok here's the answers to YY's many questions (lor-sor man diz woman...):
The course will be 4 months, once a week (i tink). This company is called E-mage, they do live performances, the nect upcoming one will be at Safra Tampines. But I oso dunno where else do they perform la. The woman told mi when they have performance coming up, they'll hafta devote one full month of their time to practices... and for dat, I dunno if I'm able to cope... well dat is IF I can make it... but hey, I've confidence in myself!
Change topic... I finally noe how "dangerous" a blog is. Dulcia keep refusing to create one cos she says she nv noe who will chance upon it. I told her wun be so unlucky... but I guess such stuff do happen. And sumtimes, it's super disasterous... To my fren who is in a veri sticky situation cos of diz... I realli hope it'll be over veri soon, and dat u'll be ur own happy and free self again.
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/30/2004 09:05:00 PM|
Thursday, October 28, 2004
I cant believe I actually did such a thing today la. I went for a singing interview today (dat was wad I was toking abt in my previous entry). It's so diff frm the stupid Voices one... for one, they're so PROfessional... really. I kinda got stunned when I walked into the studio la... bleah. I dunno wad came over mi to actually call dem up for an interview. Anw after I wrote down my particulars, the woman came out to tok to mi... which is one thing I'm totally unprepared for. She asked questions lyk "What is ur purpose for coming for this thing?", "Out of a scale of 1 to 10, rate ur passion for singing", "What do u wan to achieve ultimately as a singer?" These are questions that need proper structuring and phrasing man! I cant tell her I'm juz here to try my luck and prove to myself that I can sing. But well... that woman was nice and I could connect wif her veri well, but dat does not lower my level of nervousness in any way. She could sense it and keep trying to tell mi to relax.
After that I was supposed to give a short presentation of myself and the song I chose and start anytime I wan. (btw there IS a mini platform as a stage la, and I was supposed to stand on it) Anw as usual, I was nervous, although I din forget any of my lyrics (cos I purposely chose sumthing I'm super familiar wif, lyk can sing without even noticing the lyrics la), I can feel a bit of shakiness in sum parts of the song and I wasn't veri satisfied. Another thing is dat when I was singing I wasn't sure where to put my hands, where to move my legs, where to look at. So I was pretty much lyk a block of wood up there la.
After the "judges" went in to discuss, the same woman came out to let mi noe the "results". Firstly she told mi abt my singing. I'm pretty glad dat finally I was given the assurance dat I can sing. She was lyk "Xuanwan, u urself noe u can sing, no question abt dat, ur pitching is perfect which does not cum naturally to many pple" *WOW* Then she went on to the problems. She say that I dun sing wif my diaphragm, but it’s understandable cos I din have any professional training before. And also, I tend to keep my mouth small, as in she gave the example of Mariah Carey... how WIDE she opens her mouth, apparently it's to enable the voice to really be thrown out. That I gotta agree, who ask mi to lyk Faye Wong...when the hell has she ever opened her mouth big? As for the performing part, she says I need A LOT of work, cos frm wad she saw, she feels dat I am veri afraid of making mistakes on stage, which makes mi veri conscious when singing. She den asks mi to say sumthing to convince her to let mi have a go at it, cos both she and the other guy feel dat I'm really not ready to be a live performer. And I got a bit agitated and told her if I am not given the chance, then I will NEVER ever be ready to perform. And so she said ok she'll give mi a chance, four months is all she can give mi. I’ll hafta undergo singing training, first 2 months on my vocals and the other 2 on my performing skills.
Damn... I'd never seen myself as a performer ever, my face skin is too thin to stand up there and let everyone scrutinize and judge mi. But I dunno wad came over mi, I agreed to take up the course. It’s $480 for 4 months... it's a lot of money to withdraw at one time... and for a moment I needed strong assurance dat I'd made the right decision. I mean, am I 100% sure dat I wan to perform live? Or am I juz in this juz to prove a point to myself? The class will be a 5-10 size, which I tink will work much better for mi than a one-to-one thing. I noe myself, and even that woman can see that, I am a perfectionist. Maybe I do not always show it to others, but deep inside, I noe that I am competitive and when I do something that I lyk (an example will be badminton), I always make sure that I become the best. Ok dun get the wrong meaning, no matter HOW competitive I am, I compete with myself, I wan to make sure that I am not juz good in sumthing I like, I gotta be best at it. I am never competitive towards my frenz, this is sumthing I'm veri sure of. Ok but that's beside the pt. The pt is dat I already agreed to it and I shall do my best. I always said dat everything happens for a reason rite? Voices rejected mi... juz so dat I can do sumthing BIGGER. If I had been chosen for Voices, I'll be singing IN NUS and not OUT of NUS... gosh, I'm excited! Hopefully the outcome will be wad I wan it to be... Wad a long and nerve-wrecking day... *yawn*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/28/2004 11:13:00 PM|
Slap mi....slap mi man... I was juz trying my luck my on-ing my laptop in my aunt's hostel, my room...where the wireless reception is supposedly veri low... I got connected... oh my god... I still cant believe it. So I better lower my volume... my aunt do not allow mi to stay up late.
Had my last soci tutorial today... felt quite sad when the lesson is over. Not dat I love soci dat much, nor dat I'm in love wif the tutor or wad not. I juz simply hate "the ends"... Damn... den the tutor gave us lollipops aft lesson sumore. Imagine dat... after every sem u'll hafta experience another session of good-byes. The system is damn cold-blooded man...
Anw learnt quite alot of interesting stuff in soci tut today... let mi share it wif all. On the topic of gender, have u ever wondered why is it that boys are masculine in nature and gers feminine? Scientists use our genes to argue dat it's inborn. But sociologists have found out that our sexual traits are not inborn, but are in fact, learnt. Since young, imagine a scenario in a playgroud. When a little ger falls down and cries to her mum, she will be coaxed and "sayang-ed", but when a little boy does dat, the mother will say "boys do not cry". It shows dat we behave the way we do (guys masculine and gers feminine) because we are taught so since young. Sociology has in fact found out dat there are sum minority tribes in the middle east and African region that have women being veri aggressive and men veri emotional.
Ever wonder why is it that in the reproduction process, the egg remains still while the sperms all swarm around it and the strongest will emerge the winner? This scenario is compared wif the real world, whereby the female is expected to be docile, and it's the men who will try their veri best to win the woman's hand. Women are not supposed to go after men...
We always say that women in the middle east are being oppressed by men in dat they have to be covered frm top to toe, but who is the ones who are realli oppressed by men? Western and asian women... we dress sexily, try our best to get the perfect figure (frm all the slimming centres emerging), put make-up etc etc... all for who? Now we see... who is the one realli oppressed by society...
Interesting stuff... soci realli adds complications to simple stuff... Altho I tink it's realli interesting I'm still contemplating if I shld major in it... scared my head burst... simple stuff hafta tink in so many diff perspectives. Anw I'd made a decision on sumthing veri big... and I'm going to do it tmr! Took mi alot of courage to agree to give it a try man. So exciting, but at the same time scary. So... if I succeed, I'll share my joy wif everyone on my blog... and if I dun write anything abt it anymore... erm... den dun ask la... Good Luck Xuan!!~!~!~!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/28/2004 01:58:00 AM|
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Such a tiring but fruitful day... and I'm serious it's the last of my playing days liao. I swear I'll keep to my word... cos I made it clear to Jo and Cryst dat I wun be seeing them for a month frm today... aaargh. Went to crash SIM today... wow... the bulding is damn chio la...white on the outside... glam man. Then the inside is air-conditioned, got one BIG area dat looks lyk hotel lobby when looked down frm the top floors... I was realli so tempted to take a foto there man... wif a cool pose. But no camera and Jo was horrified when I told her abt it. And her seminar room damn cool one la... the chair is attached to the table, but can rotate one leh! As in rotate in out and about. COOL! Then hor...I'm not done yet. Halfway thro their lecture when they have break hor... there are refreshments provided lor!!! I had curry puff and a cup of coffee... how shiok is dat man... when in NUS we gotta bear wif a growling stomach thro lec, and hafta use cross our fingers all the time it wun growl too loudly at the times when the lecturer pauses. Unfair! Well... but comparing the fees we pay compared to them... wad more can we expect man? Anw their soci is lyk so diff frm ours la... and all the while I thought Jo was learning the same thing as mi. They focus so in depth abt the 3 theories wif so many cheam cheam terminology I blur. For us we juz had one lec on the theories and den moved on to diff aspects of society and learn how to relate each of these theories to the societal issues. Anw wadever it is, SIM was an eye-opener man... rich kids sch.
Den went town wif Jo to meet Cryst there. Was trying on erm...bras in John Little. Den bought one sports bra and a t-shirt bra... haha... Jo bought 2 PC bras while Cryst got one. We invaded Heeren after that and I bought a nice cool top frm TOSS... realli lyk it man. In fact I was comtemplating btw the black & white one and the green one, cos both was v nice. Jo and Cryst took one vote each which brought mi back to square one. Then the salesgirl pop up frm behind and gave her opinion say the black n white one nicer... which meant that I got that one la. The power of a salesgirl man... Anw she gave mi a $5 voucher la... so mayb if I decide to get the green one too can go back... haha. Oh ya I forgot, I was also given a $5 voucher frm John Little... anyone wants it? I dun tink I'll visit JL anytime soon...
Walked until legs gave way liao... den went to sit in Wisma Macs for ice-cream and a rest. Saw this familiar black man, after which I rem was the same guy mi and Clement saw at Wisma Famous Amos last sunday. He was damn cute la... kept looking over at our table and the first thing he said to us was "Sisters?" and pointed to Cryst and Jo. Wahahahaha!!! I should've taped down their both simultaneous expressions man! Den I told him no, we're all friends etc. And he moved on to ask the EXACT same questions he asked Clement dat time. Where're u frm? (S'pore), studying in college? (yeah, university), wad course are u taking? (arts). Ok the last qn was much more 'ma fan' cos he was lyk,"drawing?" and made the drawing action wif his hand. I said,"no no... arts as in arts and social science". He continued wif his assumption dat I'm into grapics and design and I was lyk "no, geog and history that type of arts". But I tink he din get it still... the word humanities onli came to my head after the whole conversation. Aaargh. Anw I wonder wad was he doing everyday roaming arnd Wisma and tokking to strangers. I rem he told us he's frm US... hmm... I even have his name card... interesting person.
Anw aft dat Cryst was super upset abt the "sisters?" thing la... apparently it's sum accumulated isue that hit her big time. And she vowed to be a changed Crystal the next time I see her...haha... cute. Went S11 for "xia mian" wif Jo for dinner... we're lyk half-dead already and legs aching lyk shit. But the "xia mian" was good man...shiok! Saw Andrew there too...he badly needs a haircut la... look lyk those wild grass anyhow shooting out if his head... terrible. Ok anw back to the "cooling off period" thingy. I told both of dem I have to force myself to study liao... which means I cant keep meeting up for shopping trips liao. So for the next one month I shall not meet them at all! Aaargh... I'm gg to feel weird all over again cos it has already became a routine for us to meet up at least once every week. But it's ok... I said altho I cant meet them, we muz have one conference call session every week... ah... den I wun feel weird liao...haha. So funny... I dun even have this type of "I'll-feel-weird-if-I-dun-see-u-once-a-week" thingy abt any guy before... wad does this show? Frens are more important than guys man... Love all of my frens! Pls help force mi into seclusion for the next few weeks and I'll be a free bird again! Jia You!!!
(Sorry but I juz gotta cum back, edit and add this. My bro just gave mi a piggy-back ride! Yeah...he piggy-backed fat mi around the house la... cool man...so high up there... hehe)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/26/2004 11:50:00 PM|
Everybody lie dun they? I do lie too... often.. but juz dunno why issit dat this time it gives mi an uncomfortable feeling. I'd always said of crashing Jo's sch since the beginning of sch term, but never had a chance. I juz finished my marketing report and social work report, decided to give myself a break, thus decided to skip lec tmr and crash her sch. Nothing bad abt it rite? Pple skip lectures lyk nobody's business... wad is one lect? But dunno why when I told my dad yes I'm gg to sch tmr it kinda churns my stomach... aaargh. Hey I'm no angel or anything of that sort lor... wad the hell is wrong wif mi... Wait... I juz found a way to make mi feel better. Tmr will be joining Jo for her soci lec... I'll be learning sumthing useful to mi lor. Double dose of soci in a week... cool! But well... opp cost is c lang lec. Weigh the opp cost... I tink soci wins. But still, it doesn't make mi feel any better for lying to my dad...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/26/2004 01:44:00 AM|
Monday, October 25, 2004
Gimme a break from marketing! No doubt it's fun and interesting la, but I'm having an overdose of it. Trying to finish up my social work report now but all that's in my head is marketing terms. Juz finished our tutorial and handed up our report... our tutor was damn impressed wif us la... say GOOD sumore... wah! In fact, all of us cant bear to hand it in to her cos it's too nice already... aaargh! I always believed dat last min work can force out the best in someone... judging frm our marketing group... I never knew I could produce wad I did in such a short time, same for my group members. Hehe... juz giving myself excuses to drag sumore for my report which is due 5.30pm today la. Waiting for Peizhi and Carin to cum have lunch now... I cant wait for 5.30pm!!! I'll be a free (temporary) bird!!!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/25/2004 01:23:00 PM|
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Kernels, Kernels, Kernels... my whole head is Kernels now... Not dat I'm a big fan of that brand of popcorn, in fact I din even tasted it before. It cos my group have to hand in the marketing report by next Mon and now all I can tink of is it. I realli gotta take my hat off them la... we onli started actually meeting up and discussing abt it this week and the report is already done. Now waiting for them to send mi the ppt slides for mi to compile and we're done. Haha... we got secret weapon sumore... Susan Fong sure will be impressed. But because of the secret weapon... I'd work until so late, stomach growling now, but at this time of nite... where to get food... aaargh. Nvm... go to slp den ok liao. Tmr meeting up again... this is the onli group among all my proj groups that have to meet up so often... luckily all of them are nice pple or else I dunno how to survive man.. have to see them so many times. *yawn*
~Tell mi tell mi who's the best? Kernels kernels is the best!~
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/24/2004 03:22:00 AM|
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Wenfang implies dat I'm tokking to much rubbish on my blog... so I shall be short and sharp from now onwards... *ZIP*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/23/2004 04:32:00 PM|
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wad the hell is wrong wif guys!? I juz finished watching "For love or for money", which is this reality show, sumthing lyk the Bachelor, but more complicated cos each of the gers have to their name, a blind cheque, and none of them noes the value of their cheques. One contains a million, and the other, a dollar. The final "winner" will get to choose whether she wants to go for her cheque (which she doesn’t noe the value of), or the man. Damn it la... He juz eliminated 2 more in today's episode and left 2. Wad the heck... one of the 2 remaining is a damn bloody bitch. And when I say bitch, I mean bitch as in BITCH! Since the beginning of the game she irritated every single one of the other gers, flirts wif the guy lyk nobody's business, backstabs pple and is a whole pack of lies. If permitted, I believe she would have slept wif him juz to get her aim. Wah kaoz... and he kept her in the game!!! Either he's super blind or he's super stupid. Ok, I tink most probably it's a combination of the two. This juz goes to show how blind guys can get... excuse mi!? Not one but ALL of the gers hated her, even this veri sweet and genuine ger, who was eliminated today la, much to my annoyance. Cool it babe...cool it... AAARGH!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/21/2004 11:17:00 PM|
NS does wonders to many guys doesn't it? A few months ago, he was laughing together wif the rest at this other guy frm our class who's
dating diz sec sch ger now. And now, he made frenz wif a few sec sch gers whom he met at Zouk, even went out wif dem. They say NS will make guys desperate... how veri true is that...
He was kinda agitated and overly-concerned abt wad's gg on btw mi and the other guy, and it made mi happy for a while. But when the topic abt his 16 yr-old ger "frenz"came up, I became a bit irritated and disgusted. Or was it a slight tinge of jealousy? I cant figure out myself...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/21/2004 03:10:00 PM|
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Haiz... sitting her at the corner of Coffee Club Express in sch using my laptop now. First time since I got my laptop dat I brought it to sch. Managed to configure it v quickly at the com centre... the person there was v nice, thought he might be v impatient or stg...haha. Anw I juz found out sumthing, this corner of the Coffee Club Express is a place for the "loners" with laptops to while their time. 5 tables here, 3 occupied by onli one person, the other 2 empty. All 3 (including mi) "loners" listening to music thro their earpiece, and facing their laptops busily typing. I juz found a new chilling out spot man... cool! And can "pple watch" sumore... Waiting for E lang tut later at 3... and I juz found out last min diz morn in C lang lec dat there's C lang tut today. Aaargh, hafta change my tuition dat to tmr, thus cant stay too long for marketing proj meeting tmr.
Tokking abt marketing, I've an amazing group man.... and when I say amazing I realli mean AMAZING. For both our assignments, we met up 2 hrs before lesson to complete and present it in class. The last one was even betta still, I finished the ppt liao and we met up 2 hrs b4 lesson to tie things down, mainly, the role-playing. And we managed to cum up wif the diff scenes rite b4 lesson and presented. Haha... the teacher was rather impressed though. Next mon is the deadline for marketing report and we haven even started... but I juz noe that it'll be v well completed by Mon... this is an amazing grp man... haha... specializes in last-min completion of work. Okok...better go back to my social work report due on Mon... my marketing grp may be amazing, but I alone am not...haha...
Anw one of my grp members keep reminding mi it's onli 3-4 more weeks to end-yr exams... so I better settle down now and wake up frm all the playing and slacking...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/19/2004 01:09:00 PM|
Sunday, October 17, 2004
'Have u ever felt bad at sum pt of time abt sum fren u disliked? I mean, these species of pple are a weird bunch... they act and behave badly for 23 hrs of the time, but sumhow for the last hr they becum nice to u and made u feel bad for being angry wif dem. (And there're the type that's lyk so close to u..nice for 23 hrs and den turn tables at the last hr...but dats another story)Anw I dun have juz one of such frenz... I've a few. Juz opened stg dat she made for mi... it's realli sweet la, can see the amt of effort put in for it. But den u'll tink, if she's realli dat nice den why did she behave the way she does most of the times? I cant dislike anyone for too long...once they becum nice to mi I'll "xin luan". Dats y last time when the guys ask mi why issit dat when everyone cant stand her, mi included, I still tok and stick arnd wif her when she's anrd. I did tok to my frenz abt it b4 dat I feel I'm being hypocritical, but I feel dat it's even worse if I join everyone and ostrasize her... I mean, there ARE times when she's nice too... juz dat pple dun see it. I tink sum frenz, to put it simply, can onli be met up wif once in a long while...then she's ok. When seen too often u'll puke blood one... Anw... thanx for the present... realli realli nice... =)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/17/2004 11:56:00 PM|
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/17/2004 11:40:00 PM|
Ever wonder how you get fried chicken?
- Crash Landing -
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/17/2004 01:05:00 AM|
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Tired... tired... Had an E Lang test early in the morning today (note: I'm blogging now at midnite), it was a damn cocked up test cos our whole row was buzi flipping textbooks and dictionaries, and when the lecturer said time's up we all panicked. Damn screwed... aft dat I decided dat I REALLY have to go sing or else I'll go mad (yes, it's dat bad), so as usual... I was a bad influence to Peizhi and dragged her to go sing ktv wif mi... at the cost of skipping social work lecture... (again) But well... we had a great time man! Never had so much fun singing duets before... cos usually when I go sing wif my ger frens, they're unfamiliar wif the duets, and when there's guys, u cant actually find one dat can carry a tune well. Haha... we even repeated a few of the duets to sing more than once... to practise our coordination... hahaha!
And then I went Compass to meet Angie for dinner after dat... so long nv see her liao. Btw for those who're wondering wad's she doing now, she's STILL stuck at that pathetic job... she say she dunno how to tell the boss she wants to resign... aaargh. And she'll be gg Australia next yr to study liao... confirmed... after procrastinating for so long. Quite nice to meet up after so long... if u noe wad I mean. Den we were saying how diff it is to maintain frenships now... much less in 10 yrs time... sigh... so to ALL my dearest frens out there... we MUZ keep in touch for many many many yrs down the rd k??? damn... juz the tot of losing all my frens as I grow older gives mi the *shudders*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/16/2004 02:26:00 AM|
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Damn irritated man... I went to sch juz for an hr tutorial... took taxi frm Harbourfront sumore... was running late. Was supposed to have e lang tut frm 3-4, which I went in a little late. Then supposed to have c lang tut frm 4-6... and guess wad, when I walked into the class, it's EMPTY. I panicked man... den hurry went AS7 to check my mail... no notification at all! Then I decided to try my luck by walking into the next classroom... the whole class looked at mi lyk "huh?" den when I was closing the door behind mi aft realising the mistake, I could hear the tutor saying stg and the whole class burst out in laughter! So embarrasing! Anw so I went home lor... wad to do... it's not dat I dun wan to go for lesson... is got no lesson for mi to go to... haha.
I tink it's time for mi to display my great collection of quotes... here's one to answer to Wenfang's msg on the tag-board...
" No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved "
All of us keep trying to look for sumone who is 'perfect' (including myself), but wad we dun realise is dat there is no perfect person. We all want to be loved by a perfect guy, but to tink abt it, have we ever loved anyone perfectly? It's kinda impossible rite? sigh...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/12/2004 07:05:00 PM|
Monday, October 11, 2004
Juz came back frm town, after watching New Police Story wif Peizhi... I was actually quite skeptical abt watching a chinese show, much less one by Jacky Chan, in the movies. Boy am I wrong man... it's a great show. Great plot, great acting, great actors/actresses. There's an equal mix of comedy, romance and heart-wrenching stories abt each diff character... damn glad I manage to catch it before it stps showing. Okok... I sound lyk sum movie reviewer... I shall go take my afternoon slp now... *yawn*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/11/2004 05:39:00 PM|
People always take their dads for granted... and if I do not tink abt it, I would too. My daddy is the number one dad man... at least to mi. I was tinking of dat today when I was in the car... on my way to sch. Since sec 1... I din have to go to sch alone at all... every morning it'll be my dad fetching mi right to the gates of Cedar, all the way until sec 4. Haha... I rem once we were late and my dad actually "pa-kat" wif mi, by parking the car at the side gate, then after assembly when everyone's gg back to their classroom, den I sneaked in amidst the chaos. And most of the time, I do not have travel home alone too... cos it'll be evning time when I finish training, then my dad will cum fetch mi home. After graduating frm sec sch, I STILL did not have to go to sch alone. Without fail, I get fetched to sch every morning to the gates of AJ, despite the often 100m last min sprints into the gates... haha. And similar to sec sch, I also get fetched home after sch on days I have trainings until late in the evening lyk 9pm. Juz when I was getting all annoyed at having to travel to NUS all the way frm home everyday... super dad appeared again. Now he's insisting on fetching mi to sch everytime my lesson is at 8, or sumtimes even 10. And I get to slp in the car again... juz as I used to. Sigh... wad can I say abt my dad... (alamak... now I feel my tears getting watery... damn!)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/11/2004 09:30:00 AM|
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Pathetic pri sch outing man... Juz came back not long ago... I'll never go for another one man... Imagine... meeting up wif a group of pple u last seen 8 yrs ago, when u're onli lyk... this tall?! Goodness man... Anw it's no difference frm my JC outings, whereby the guys will be sitting together and be happily engrossed in their NS talks... while the gers juz tok among themselves. Nothing veri wrong wif dat... juz dat... I dun noe the gers dat well actually. I dun even see any of them after we graduated frm pri sch! Man.... how weird it is...
But one surprising thing is dat sumhow those guys frm my pri sch are kinda gentlemanly... as in, compared to those monkeys in my JC class la. It sounds weird la... cos these are the guys whom u last saw were running arnd in class, making a fool in front of the teacher etc. I was kinda taken aback when walking thro this door one of the guys actually stopped and let mi wlak thro first. It felt so.... huh!? Haha... maybe too used to un-gentlemanliness wif the 27/02 guys... damn sad case... learn sumthing man....
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/09/2004 11:56:00 PM|
Friday, October 08, 2004
Wad's it lyk to be 20 and toks lyk u're at least 30? Ok I noe it's perfectly acceptable for one to have high ambitions, it's good actually... but dun u realise u're juz 20!? How much youth does a person have? And you're using ur youth bothering abt adult matters. Ok u say u wan to gain experience, but isn't diz a bit too much? It's not as if ur family needs the money desperately or wad... On top of NS, give tuition... ok acceptable. Then work in a pizza place, make pizza? Ok... experience rite? Shareholder in sum credit card company, investing in selling clothes now, going to set up an online 'soon kwey' delivery website, tinking of starting a tuition facilitator job... and even best-er still, ambitioning to take over Mr Bean at AMK Central and build a cafe in it's place... Workable u say? I see how u work till u die ar! You tink u superman ar!? It's no wonder u got fever at 37.9 degrees yesterday... who else can u blame but urself!? By the time u start uni, u'll look 30, by the time u graduate, u'll look 40. I find that there's juz a gap btw us now, it doesn't feel the same way tokking to u b4, lyk tokking to a close buddy. You seem so much older now... it's almost as if we're not tokking on the same line anymore...
Sorry to all, I'm juz venting my frustrations out above... so actually can ignore dat part. Came back less than an hr ago, after shopping whole day wif Jo... legs wobbly and hands trembling now. Gers are simply incorrigible if u actually tink abt it sumtimes. I bought a veri nice yellow top frm BYSI! Den I gotten a haircut today! Hehe... mi and Jo the rich tai-tais... so fun! So... we went to take neoprint on my new haircut cos I'm veri sure the next morning when I wake up the hairstyle will be back to normal... so take to commemorate oso fun... I specially changed into my new top lor... cos wad I wore today is realli... cannot take picture one... disgrace. Then we juz walked and walked until I almost slept in the changing room of the shop Double Index... I swear I'm not lying on dat! I was leaning on the wall wif my eyes closed when Jo accessed if the top look good on mi anot. That's how tired I was... but after dat we went to have ice-cream la. Sigh... if onli everyday is liddat. Den we start to reminisce abt our JC times, wad was our first impression of every single one in Catas, brought up sum alomost-forgotten jokes and luff at them again... I almost wished I could go on tokking wif her for the whole nite man.
It's weird isn't it? there are sum frenz whom u seem close to, but sumhow there'll be juz this handful whom u noe will stick by u for a v long time, these are the ones who bare their true self to u, and hide not even a single thought frm u. The rest juz seem close to u on the surface, but u noe deep down, they may be comparing wif u for sum things, and u noe u can never depend on them when u need help, or even, when a guy cums into the picture... To all my true frenz... hope we'll stay as close as ever for many many many years to cum k?
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/08/2004 11:13:00 PM|
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Sorrie for the LONG entry... cant help it...
Met up with Weijian, "my bro", today before soci lecture... he's leaving off to Brunei realli soon. And surprisingly, we actually can have a veri interesting conversation, even though we seldom have a chance to have a one-to-onn chit chat. And I learnt sumthing new abt my "bro"... he tinks ALOT... and when I say alot I mean realli alot. We tink Wendy tinks alot? Weijian tinks even more... on a higher level whereby one actually have to be "enlightened" to understand him.
Forgot wad we were tokking abt, sumthing abt make sure dat you'll never regret doing or not doing anything in life.
Me: You realli tink so? Have you ever liked sumone for a veri long time & regretted not letting her noe?
Bro: No
Me: I feel dat if I dun, I'll regret
Bro: So you want to be together wif him?
Me: I dunno
Bro: Wad do you like abt him?
Me: I dunno
Bro: Dun say dunno, there's no such thing as no reason for liking sumone, it's bullshit.
Bro starts to list out sum qualities gers look out for in a guy, and he stsrts to analyse wif mi if he (note: bro never asked mi to say who it is) has these basis qualities.
- Caring? Dunno
- Security? No
- Maturity? No
- Responsible? Dunno
Bro: Then fail liao la!
Me: Haha...
Bro: Ask yourselves wad's ur pt of telling him? Want to be together wif him? Or juz to get it off ur chest?
Me: ...
Bro: Ask urself if he's wad u wan in a bf...
Me: ...
Silence. I started to retink abt him in my mind, then I finally saw the light. He's not wad I'm looking for in a guy. I oso saw my bro's pt, whether I tell hhim or not doesn't make a difference, it's juz on the outside. Deep down I've to untie my own knot inside mi. That's when I got enlightened...
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We tokked abt the gers, if any of dem attached now?
Me: I wun ever ger attached, judge all guys & made sure I dig out all their flaws
Bro: dats cos you're still young
Me: OEI! I'm older than u hor!
Bro: Usually at 20, gers choose and pick, take their time to wait. When they reach 27, they start to feel the urgency, & dats when they lower their expectations all the way & accept an average guy.
Me: No way! I dun wan to be liddat!
Bro: Cos at 20, gers have diff expectations of guys compared to when they are 27. You look for sumone gd-looking, charming etc... aft 2 months together he'll juz be a normal person. As u grow older u'll realise wad u realli need is a guy who realli cares for u, regardless of how he looks, & by then it may be too late already cos u've already passed off so many of such guys btw when u're 20 to 27.
Me: -Speechless-
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Me: Aiyah but I tink I'll remain like diz for v long. In fact, most of my close frens are still single. Maybe it's juz us...
Bro: Dats cos u diz type of ger is the serious type, at diz age, guys are still v playful and look for gers dat have the same mentality as dem
Me: True true... judging frm the guys I noe in uni...
Bro: But when they grow older and becum more matured, their mentality changes and will look for gers ur type
Me: Wow... dats a huge consolation
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Haha... lyk tokking to sum aunt agony liddat huh... Anw I wish him all the best in Brunei... and also, the ger dat he realli cares for, will one day mature and realise which guy is realli true to her... if it's meant to be, it will be! =)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/07/2004 03:29:00 PM|
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Hey pple... I juz changed my blogskin. Pls gimme ur heartfelt comments. Are the fonts too big? Cos it's supposed to be small fonts i change it big... cos easier to read. But does the big fonts look weird? And den... if many of u tink dat the original one is nicer pls let mi noe k? Den I'll change it back... Ur feedback is very much appreciated!!!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/05/2004 02:22:00 PM|
Waiting for Jo to cum NUS to have lunch wif mi now... haha... I can always count on her when I need her man. Anw overslept today and was late for my c lang lecture... had to sit at the rows of chairs behind... -INTERRUPTION- (can anybody believe diz!? I'm in AS7 com lab now, den diz woman juz came to sit beside mi... she took out this big chinese-type of fan, and started fanning herself! It's ridiculous! Do u tink u're still in the 4 ancient beauties era or stg? there's air-con here ya noe!? All the weird pple u can see arnd NUS... *shuuuders*) Ok, anw back to mi... apparently I slept thro the whole of the lecture la... since I was so behind I cant see the lecturer anw... but aft lecture we got back our test papers... haiz... I saw the rest all lyk 17, 18...the worst was 15 over 20. Guess wad I got... 12. BLEAH!~
Now looking out for new blogskins... realli sick of my blog liao. But so far I still cant find one dat I'm happy wif... continue searching babe....
Anw did I say before I borrowed diz realli nice book frm the library? It consists of poems, quotes and short stories... and most of the quotes are SO meaningful... I realli have to write them down here sum day... but I dun have the book wif mi now la. And a few of the quotes are SO apt in my case I cant help but feel sad... dat there are actually other pple in the world who are in the same position as mi... it totally sux... shall write them down when I have the time...
Ok... shall continue to blogskin-search...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/05/2004 01:06:00 PM|
Monday, October 04, 2004
Haiz... getting realli laggin in my updating of blog. Juz finished one whole week of tests last week... 3 papers leh... imagine dat. And it's times lyk these when I'll suddenly miss JC life... so much more carefree... and den suddenly you'll wish you will not grow up so fast... Oh man... I'm old...
Anw went sch at 8 today, when my lesson is at 10. Why? Cos my marketing group had to pia last min work, collating everything together... the presentation, the report. I had lyk so little sleep last nite... but hey... the feeling u get right after the presentation is damn shiok. Haha... it's times lyk these I lyk last minute pia-ing... okok, but dun do it too often.. budden to tink abt it... when have I ever prepared long before due-date? Crap. You noe one thing abt uni dat I realli hate, and trying my veri best to get used to? It is to have to work with pple u dun noe at all, to come up wif a group project, meet-up together to discuss work etc. In the first place I've never been a sociable person and I hate meeting new people. And becoz u realli dunno ur tutorial mates beforehand, you'll realli have to depend on the word LUCK... judging frm dear Tab who got this realli KS ger in her psych project group, and poor Cheryl who got an e lang group that couldn't care less abt the project. SO sad! I used to kinda dislike my marketing group, but after today I realise that they're actually quite nice pple... but still... it takes mi a realli long time to warm up to new pple...
Shit... stomach rumbling lyk crazy now... had onli a small slice of cheesecake this morning at 6 plus 7... look at the time now!!! Later meeting the gers and my "bro"... people have last supper we have last dinner... haha... and hopefully I can do sum shopping too! Damn... why am I always tinking of spending and not saving???
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/04/2004 02:11:00 PM|
Friday, October 01, 2004
You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.Find out your color at Quiz Me! |
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/01/2004 01:26:00 PM|
