:: Follow The Voice In Your Heart ::

We are the keepers of our own heart.

So what is it about following the voice in your heart?

Some hear the voice but are deaf to it...

Some listen too much to the voice in their head,

they ignore the one in their heart.

So just what is it about following the voice in your heart?

Just ask the keeper of this blog...

The keeper of her own heart.

*the keeper*

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:: Xuanwan ::
:: 12/09/84 ::
:: NUS undergrad ::
:: FASS ::

*loves *

:: my family ::
:: andrew ho ::
:: badminton ::
:: bubble tea ::
:: babies ::
:: singing ::
:: sleeping ::
:: slacking ::
:: surprises ::

*moodswings *

*wishlist *

~~:: finish the whole series of Sex & The City ::~~
~~:: to enjoy whatever modules I'll be doing next sem ::~~
:: not be kicked out of NUS and have to go sell bubble tea ::
:: rid the world of nasty jerks ::
~~:: to get out of boring S'pore for holiday! ::~~

Thursday, October 28, 2004

I cant believe I actually did such a thing today la. I went for a singing interview today (dat was wad I was toking abt in my previous entry). It's so diff frm the stupid Voices one... for one, they're so PROfessional... really. I kinda got stunned when I walked into the studio la... bleah. I dunno wad came over mi to actually call dem up for an interview. Anw after I wrote down my particulars, the woman came out to tok to mi... which is one thing I'm totally unprepared for. She asked questions lyk "What is ur purpose for coming for this thing?", "Out of a scale of 1 to 10, rate ur passion for singing", "What do u wan to achieve ultimately as a singer?" These are questions that need proper structuring and phrasing man! I cant tell her I'm juz here to try my luck and prove to myself that I can sing. But well... that woman was nice and I could connect wif her veri well, but dat does not lower my level of nervousness in any way. She could sense it and keep trying to tell mi to relax.

After that I was supposed to give a short presentation of myself and the song I chose and start anytime I wan. (btw there IS a mini platform as a stage la, and I was supposed to stand on it) Anw as usual, I was nervous, although I din forget any of my lyrics (cos I purposely chose sumthing I'm super familiar wif, lyk can sing without even noticing the lyrics la), I can feel a bit of shakiness in sum parts of the song and I wasn't veri satisfied. Another thing is dat when I was singing I wasn't sure where to put my hands, where to move my legs, where to look at. So I was pretty much lyk a block of wood up there la.

After the "judges" went in to discuss, the same woman came out to let mi noe the "results". Firstly she told mi abt my singing. I'm pretty glad dat finally I was given the assurance dat I can sing. She was lyk "Xuanwan, u urself noe u can sing, no question abt dat, ur pitching is perfect which does not cum naturally to many pple" *WOW* Then she went on to the problems. She say that I dun sing wif my diaphragm, but it’s understandable cos I din have any professional training before. And also, I tend to keep my mouth small, as in she gave the example of Mariah Carey... how WIDE she opens her mouth, apparently it's to enable the voice to really be thrown out. That I gotta agree, who ask mi to lyk Faye Wong...when the hell has she ever opened her mouth big? As for the performing part, she says I need A LOT of work, cos frm wad she saw, she feels dat I am veri afraid of making mistakes on stage, which makes mi veri conscious when singing. She den asks mi to say sumthing to convince her to let mi have a go at it, cos both she and the other guy feel dat I'm really not ready to be a live performer. And I got a bit agitated and told her if I am not given the chance, then I will NEVER ever be ready to perform. And so she said ok she'll give mi a chance, four months is all she can give mi. I’ll hafta undergo singing training, first 2 months on my vocals and the other 2 on my performing skills.

Damn... I'd never seen myself as a performer ever, my face skin is too thin to stand up there and let everyone scrutinize and judge mi. But I dunno wad came over mi, I agreed to take up the course. It’s $480 for 4 months... it's a lot of money to withdraw at one time... and for a moment I needed strong assurance dat I'd made the right decision. I mean, am I 100% sure dat I wan to perform live? Or am I juz in this juz to prove a point to myself? The class will be a 5-10 size, which I tink will work much better for mi than a one-to-one thing. I noe myself, and even that woman can see that, I am a perfectionist. Maybe I do not always show it to others, but deep inside, I noe that I am competitive and when I do something that I lyk (an example will be badminton), I always make sure that I become the best. Ok dun get the wrong meaning, no matter HOW competitive I am, I compete with myself, I wan to make sure that I am not juz good in sumthing I like, I gotta be best at it. I am never competitive towards my frenz, this is sumthing I'm veri sure of. Ok but that's beside the pt. The pt is dat I already agreed to it and I shall do my best. I always said dat everything happens for a reason rite? Voices rejected mi... juz so dat I can do sumthing BIGGER. If I had been chosen for Voices, I'll be singing IN NUS and not OUT of NUS... gosh, I'm excited! Hopefully the outcome will be wad I wan it to be... Wad a long and nerve-wrecking day... *yawn*

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* xuan * listened
@ |10/28/2004 11:13:00 PM|