Monday, January 31, 2005
I'm typing this frm my aunt's hostel... watching TV now and kinda bored, and hand itchy cant tahan till tmr to blog... I had a LONG day today, every Mondays I've lessons from 9am to 6 pm, but sumhow, it doesn't seem dat long cos it starts wif a fun class and ends wif another fun class! Had TS practical at 9 today, and I din have so much fun and laughter for such a long time already. My TS grp pple are v funny, especially the guys, really so comical they got us nearly all rolling on the floor! And at the end I sway sway kena called up to do the last exercise. The instructor told another ger wad she has to make mi do, without actually telling mi to do so. And after she tried all sorts of ways to act and perform, I still cant react the way I'm supposed to. Imagine, that ger is supposed to use juz these 3 phrases "I love you", "I forgive you" and "You're so adorable" to make mi feel irritated and angry. And all the while, the onli reaction I had was "frightened"! Cos apparently the ger was lyk rushing right into my face and shouted the 3 phrases at mi... in the end the instructor had to do it himself... but, I still din exactly get the reaction he wanted. DAMN! Dunno issit juz mi...
Then the last lesson of the day is Bahasa Indonesia, so fun again! I learnt so many new words today, shall go practice later... after I watch finish Desperate Housewives. Oh ya, and finally after roaming arnd sch aimlessly for so long... (clears throat) I finally found an eye-candy... hahahaha!!! But to all my frenz out there, pls dun cum bombarding mi abt who this person is, as I'd said, it's eye-candy, totally not the type I'd wan to go out wif. He juz has this cute look, not cute as in gd-looking, cute as in cute. Haha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/31/2005 11:43:00 PM|
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Anyone tried catching a fly before? I juz did.... and spent an hr plus doing that. Note wad's the time now... 2.55am. Apparently we were in the room when my sis complained there's a fly flying arnd and may lay eggs in her hair. And so she refused to slp until it is gotten rid of... so both of us were holding bottles, following the flight path of the fly until my head nearly dropped off... cos it likes to flying arnd my head. And so... when it finally decided to take a rest on the door of my wardrobe, i fiercely cupped it. Haha... imagine holding a fly in captivity! Den we slowly moved it out to the balcony and out of the house... And juz as we thought all's fine my crazy sis started being paranoid again and say it may have already laid a few eggs. Aaargh...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/30/2005 03:12:00 AM|
Saturday, January 29, 2005
I just had a friend telling me that her bf has been checking up on my blog and thus, pick on her because of it sometimes. Sigh. Relationship problems again. To me, she has been tolerant and forbearing, and the guy has been putting up with her tantrums sometimes too. But somehow things still haven't been working out for them all this while. There are times when she'll tell me how happy she is with him and how she can see a future with him, but then there are times when he really scares her with his character and attitude. He's a very possessive person and lacks security. In addition, he constantly suspects that she's cheating on him and that makes her very frustrated, coz seriously I can see that the things she do are out in the open and there’s nothing to hide. He's totally paranoid! But even if she takes a longer while to pick up her phone, he'll suspect that she's up to something. It's really suffocating for her. I really don't think I will be able to tahan this if I was her. And I think if she really wants someone else, she wouldn't have to cheat on him, coz she can easily just break up with him and be with someone else. I don't understand why guys cannot think. As we once said in our private joke, guys are like kids, simply stupid. And she was telling me that day that she heard him talking to some girl on the phone but he claimed it was a guy. I thought it was ridiculous too when I heard it. And now instead of going out with her on a Saturday, he told her he needs to go off to church and left her alone at home. Poor girl. I can understand how she feels coz she was cheated on before and somehow the symptoms seem more and more like it, so it's really making her feel terrible in this r/s. and she's too softhearted, always cool down and talk to him nicely when he says sorry. What kind of guy is this who is giving my friend so much trouble!? He deserves a slap! Up, down. centre! What's his problem! He always tells her how much he loves her, and because of that, she always trys to understand him and not break up. But I think if a guy really loves a girl, shouldn't he try to make her happy and not always quarrel with her and leash her up? How to settle down with a guy like that. Your whole entire life will be miserable and when u regret it, it'll be too late.
So.... maybe it's still best to be single... carefree and happy. No one to control ur life, no one u'll need to report ur whereabouts too... no need to tink whether this action will affect him/her anot...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/29/2005 05:59:00 PM|
Veri surprised to see Tab on my way home today... she was at Kent Ridge Terminal. It's been ages since I saw her or even went home wif her! So excited! Then I was telling her abt my stupid bimbotic fone, the one which she had trouble wif before too, so understands my plight perfectly. So now I'm getting the same fone as her... I tried using it and it's realli nice! We always have the same fone!!! Haha... and hope this one wun be another bimbotic fone.... pretty but brainless... But dunno when I'm getting it... asap.... or i'll die man.... having such a cocked up fone...
Then on the train, there's diz weird IJ ger sitting opp us, slouching sideways and playing wif her hair by herself, twirling it and sticking it to her face, and gave us a scary sideways look. Den Tab said, "Look at the way she look at u... Kowaii!!!" Cos before dat she was toking to mi in Jap and mi to her in Malay mah... den I was tinking, u call this look cute!?! Then she told mi it's not Kawaii, it's Kowaii (dunno issit spelt liddat la), and it means "Scary!" Haha... now I learnt a new Jap word...
And diz woman v smart la... we go compass to check out the price of my soon-to-be fone, and she ending up buying bags. Notice... it's bagS, not bag. She bought a bag frm Pepper Plus AND a bag frm Perllini. Sumone giving tuition still la... can afford to spend like dat... WHY!?! I oso wan!!! Den I tried calling sum tuition agencies... den I guess now they trying to ensure the quality of their tutors every agency ask mi to send them a copy of my O and A level certs... I den not so free la... now I'm still tinking where can I get money to spend... other than frm my dad of cos... so any one out there got any tuition jobs? Pls let mi noe... I'm desperate... aaargh!
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/29/2005 02:02:00 AM|
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Why is it dat there's diz chinese phrase dats says "the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment"? Dats precisely was happened to mi... aaargh. Cos apparently I told Yvonne, one of the clerks in NVSS, dat I'll be free on Wed and Thurs to do relief. Ok great, on Tues nite, I already prepared my teaching clothes at the side, and went to sleep early, having high hopes my fone will ring at arnd 7am for mi to go down for relief. I woke up at 11.30. No fone call for relief. Then on Wed nite, I decided dat the chances of mi being called up is veri slim. 50% chance of a teacher calling in sick. Then apparently Joyce made her free days Wed and Thurs as well (!#$&^!), chances dropped to 25%. And then I juz found out frm Michael he's not doing long-term relief now, dropped to the same ranks as mi of waiting for a daily relief job. 12.5%. Ok... forget it then. I din prepare any clothes for teaching, and was playing wif my comp for the whole nite till 5 plus am, den went to slp. 7am, my fone rang twice but I couldn't wake up. Thanx... I juz gave up $ 65 today.
I mean... I was so fully prepared for wed relief and I wasn't called. Then juz when I played comp for the whole nite and slept at 5 u ask mi to go for relief. Not funny. Ha ha ha. It's weird isn't it? Now dat u tink abt it, many things usually happened when u least expect it to, and when u expect sumthing to happen, it doesn't. We all watch drama serials dun we? Be it korean, jap, chinese or english or wadever... Picture this familiar scene. Girl A is veri excited abt gg to diz high class party where she'll be able to meet many eligible bachelors, and tries to persuade her fren, Girl B, to accompany her. Girl B says she dun lyk such events and had to be persuaded so hard by Girl A, before she finally agrees to go, reluctantly. Girl A goes to the party filled wif veri high hopes of meeting sum prince charming, while Girl B tags behind her and smiles onli when she has to. Wad happens next? Yeah... Girl B is the one who meets THE ONE. Typical fate and chance plot.
But well, there IS sum truth in it... so mayb we shld not always plan beforehand abt everything, maybe everything will fall into place nicely if u'll juz let it. Maybe studying veri hard for diz module is not so good... u'll be expecting to get an A and u'll be so upset if the results turn out to be a B. Maybe u dun study so hard for this mod, and expect a B- or C. Then u happen to be lucky during the exams and gotten a B+ or an A instead... u din expect it... so u'll be so over the moon! (Ok, juz another of my warped reasoning for mi to be excused frm studying... haha) Ok wadever it is, I tink we shld place our expectations sumwhere in the middle, not too high, not too low. So manybe next Tues nite... I shall not pack my clothes yet sleep early... maybe that'll halp abit... maybe...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/27/2005 06:34:00 PM|
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/27/2005 03:36:00 AM|
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
As I'm blogging now my eyelids are heavy... even after sleeping for a while frm 6pm to 8pm. Having packed ur Mons and ur Tues fully is no joke man... but surprisingly, u achieve this sense of fulfilment, lyk suddenly u feel ur day is more meaningful, no more wasting ur time away by rotting at those benches along the corridoors by pretending to read ur notes when ur mind is far away at Wisma Atria, no more staring at ur laptop for hrs pretending to be doing research when there's nothing else to do online, finished checking ur e-mail, personal or sch, finished blogging abt every little stupid thing dat happened 5 mins ago. Suddenly, u feel lyk a hardworking uni student! Note the word... FEEL. I'm already planning to be sleeping the whole day away for my free day tmr... haha...
On Mon I did stupid things in TS practical lyk acting as machines... or mayb cos I was in quite a sian mood dat morning, my every action feels lethargic. Den computing tutorial is so bad... I needed toothpicks to keep my eyelids open... but too bad, I din have toothpicks, so I juz tried to lie as low as possible hiding behind sumone sitting in front. Soci lect is even worse... dat stupid lecturer speaks so fast, and alot of rubbish stuff. She can go on and on for 15 mins abt sumthing, when onli 5 mins of her content is impt. Oh ya and juz reminded mi... I'm going IVLE to post a complain on the lecturer... she posts the lecture notes for dat day less than 2 hrs before the lecture la! Wad rubbish is diz man... Den my last lesson for the day is my first lesson of Bahasa Indo... ARH~~~ I had so much fun I'd officially declared that the best module I'd taken so far since the beginning of sch, last sem included... but vocab learnt in juz one lesson is not enuff for mi to write a short paragraph here...
For today, I'd decided dat frm next week onwards, I shall not go for computing lect anymore... 2 hrs there always feels lyk 4 hrs... without fail, every week it's liddat. Sux... I shall try the webcast, and if I can even sleep in front of the comp, den I shall forget abt the lecture altogether and juz rely on the textbook... it's such a dead and boring mod... I need relaxation, I need to shop, I need to sing KTV, I need to sleep...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/25/2005 10:14:00 PM|
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Oh man... starting lessons proper tmr... kinda dreading it. And cos smart mi squeezed all lessons on Mon and Tues, they're super packed. But it's fine, dats wad I wanted... den the rest of the week will be at a veri relaxed pace... "xian ku hou tian"... haha. And another prob now is dat I've not gotten most of my textbooks lor, do I realli have to go buy it?? TS I gotta go library and get it, but kinda dreading it cos wad are the chances the book will still be there? NUS is full of kiasu pple, they most prob will "chope" the book for veri veri long. Computing CY supposed to asked MS if we can lend his text and zap... and until now no news abt it. Lyk WTH la... I shall go ask him myself. Soci text is $33...Kim said her fren can lend mi to zap but still no news... maybe I shld juz go buy it la... will continue lagging if I still dun get the text soon... cant do readings. Worse cum to worse I juz buy everything myself la! Save myself all the trouble... NUS realli noes how to make money man... damn.
Oh ya, I'll be staying at my aunt's hostel on Sun nites and Mon nites, cos I got full day for both Mon and Tues mah... den travelling is so much easier and less time-consuming. Can wake up later than if I'm at home... and also, I'll not bring my laptop to the hostel... then will be forced to study... haha.
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/23/2005 01:57:00 PM|
Saturday, January 22, 2005
We Work As A Team!
I was playing sum action game demo I downloaded frm the net. It's to get this hamster ball rolling through a maze. Then as our usual practice, me, my bro and sis took turns to play each stage. Then as the stages got harder, we start to make alot of mistakes, especially mi and my sis. Then cos for the amt of time u remain after u reach the end pt, u can bring it on to the next stage, which means dat the faster u finish ur stage, the better it is cos u'll have more time for the next stages. We were so desperate already cos we couldn't pass this particular stage. I told my bro to play one whole game himself, cos he's quite good at it and we're wasting alot of time... my sis also asks him to do so. And I was damn surprised he refused and said "This is a team effort." WAH! Haha... Haven wasted all these years of doting on him... growing up wif 2 sisters realli can mould him into a SNAG... As for my sis, she's quite bad at comp games so her hamster was jumping off the cliffs every now and den lyk free liddat but we still let her join in although she will cut down the timing allowance. It feels so good to have this strong sibling bond within ur family.
And before dat when I was downloading games in my room and wanted to tell him somthing, I knocked on the wall seperating my room and his. Usually he'll get the meaning and cum in and ask me wad's up. This time he never. And I knocked the 2nd time and he still never come over. After a short while he came into my room and I asked him why is it he nv ans my "call". You'll never guess it... he said he thought there was ghosts or stg. Apparently he heard the knocks and went to find my younger sis who was playing comp outside, told her he tinks there's ghosts in his room and asked her to follow him into his room if she dun believe. They went in and there's no sound. He told her "I close my door then will have sound." Still no sound. How dumb can my brother get!? Ghosts in his room?? Haha... and he wasn't making this up cos I juz checked wif my sis abt it and we had a good laugh over it.
I noe I may have said this before but I juz feel lyk reiterating my pt. I love my siblings, no matter how irritating they can be at times. The kind of bond simply cant be explained... it has to be felt by urself. I rem last time when I encountered the ending of a bad r/s, was SO sad lying on my bed, and upon hearing sum song on the radio I started crying, even though my sis was also in the room, in her bed. She saw mi cry and was veri worried and ask mi wad's wrong. Even before she can complete her sentence she was crying already... even when she dunno why the hell am I crying! Later I ask her she cry for wad... she say "dunno, I see u cry den I cry." THAT is the sibling bond I'm talking abt...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/22/2005 03:24:00 AM|
Friday, January 21, 2005
How much trust should be given to a guy?
I was juz told by a good fren of mine, dat u cannot trust a guy completely. I find dat kinda sad... imagine not being able to trust ur bf completely? But this is not the first time I'm hearing this frm a happily attached girlfren of mine... another of my close fren trusted her bf completely, he's nice, caring and their personality matches so well. She never once doubted him, never once checked up on him. And one day she chanced upon the fact dat he was chatting up this ger on msn. Ok great. Devastated she may be but she decided to give him another chance, and this time, she's smarter. And they were really close and sweet together! How scary is the fact dat no matter how much u love that person, u still cannot give him ur total trust?
Wad's wif guys having this problem of staying commited 100%? We girls can do it perfectly well, ok maybe not all. Omitting those bitches who cheat on their bfs... totally ruin our statistics, or else I could've put 100% down here. Ok... 99% then. I refuse to believe there are so many of those bitches out there. Anw back to the prob of guys. Is it so difficult to stay true to juz one girl? Wad I'm toking abt here is not lyk totally dating another ger. Juz simply THINKING of another girl is already counted as cheating! (Correct mi if I'm wrong) Wad is bloody wrong wif them!?! Thank goodness I'm not attached now or else I'd have this extra burden of having to check on my bf frm time to time. It's such a waste of time... I could be doing more meaningful things lyk shopping, sleeping, eating or simply enjoying my own company! So to all happily attached girls out there... do not ever think ur guy is different frm the rest. Guys will always be guys, and guys cannot be given 100% trust.
Anw has been catching up wif the Sex And The City series, and I finally realize why is it that pple are so hooked on it and have such amazing reviews abt it. I personally enjoyed it a lot, every episode. It's not all abt sex sex and more sex. It's a story abt 4 working women, best friends, and going through life's ups and downs together. And each of the characters have their own unique personality, which explains why they got so many pple hooked on it. It's cos there is a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in every one of us. Sum pple may have more of one of them, sum may have less.
Carrie's the caring helpful angelic fren who is always there for every one of her frens (ok maybe cos she's the "narrator" so she gotta be involved wif the rest to get the story going, but dat's besides the pt). Miranda is a mother of a cute little baby, divorced her husband but later married him again after realizing he's the one she really loves. She's matured and sensible, hates anything to do wif romance, and acts like the big sister of the group. Charlotte is sweet and conservative. She's the total opposite from Samantha, and loves everything romantic. The typical girl-next-door who simply wishes to settle down with a good guy and set up a happy family. Samantha is the ultimate. She always seems to be hungry for sex and simply loves to enjoy life as it is. She is the happy-go-lucky type of girl who bend rules just to have fun.
Now ask yourself, is there something in each of these characters that is reflected in you? Highly recommended show... go download! Did I juz encouraged piracy?
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/21/2005 02:44:00 PM|
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
I got my desired time-table already!!! I got my E Lang slot today... which means I got my desired time-table! Every intended slot! But I scared ar.... cos last sem I so bad luck, den diz sem so good... does dat mean next sem will be a repetition of wad happened last sem? Oh No! But wadever it is... I'm realli v happy I got my desired time-table. =) Wan to put it up here so dat my frens can noe when I'm free or unavailable... but this blogskin is so simple and nice... I dunno how to put it here without spoiling the whole outlook of it... I shall try my best...
Anw I dunno how cum I so "lucky" man... din get the same TS tut slots as Kim and Liza, but I kena the same as CY! Aaargh! Lyk as if seeing him for 2 lectures in a row on Tues is not enuff... I'd learnt my lesson already, next sem after I decided on my time-table I shall NOT let anyone noe wad I am taking... of cos the gers can la... no guys... NO! Given his tactless character, I can totally predict dat one of these days I'll reach my limit and blow it at him... no wonder Carin couldn't stand him too... but luckily my practical is not the same as him... Bleah!
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/19/2005 11:33:00 PM|
Tracing...
This is ridiculous! I was juz being bored, so typed in my name on yahoo search and got this whole list of results. Many of which is my and my frens' blogs, sum are of other pple's blogs, who has a fren by the same name as mi oso. And then I came to this result that showed this love poetry site. Hmm... interesting. So I clicked on it and was appeared on the screen is this one page long poem, author: Xuanwan. And then I read the poem. OMG! I totally forgot abt it! Apparently I posted it last time LONG LONG ago when I was in sec sch. That was the time I had a major crush on sum badminton guy. I dunno to laugh or cry ar... I cant believe I would post one of my poems up on a site lor! And another funny thing, they had a "vote for this poem" option below, and guess how many votes my poems got already so far? 19970. Ok...dats for since sec 4 till now... but it's still alot! I cringed when I read it man... aaargh. The "e-mail author" option links to my mail used LONG time ago lor... tink it doesn't even exist now. I still cant believ I'd do such a thing last time... I muz be mad!!! Haha... maybe one day when u're bored u shld do dat too, type ur name in yahoo search and u'll be surprised wif the results! But if u've a common name... then sorrie la... u wouldn't wan to be looking thro 100 over results...haha!
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/19/2005 01:04:00 PM|
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Tutorial Balloting Results
Wad Peizhi said is so true... a person cant be "sway" two times in a row. I got all my first choice tutorial slots except for E Lang. They din give mi anything at all. But wad's infuriating is dat when I checked the registration thing dat slot was the most unpopular and had 9 more empty vacancies... But well... I'm already VERY satisfied, really. I din expect to get almost all of my choices, and all the more desired one sumore. Juz pray hard I'll be able to get that E Lang tutorial slot tmr... den I'll be a happy ger!
Was supposed to stay back and study wif Dul...but was kinda tired after 2 lects, so told her I wun stay back liao. I was realli realli tired by then la, was accompanying Peizhi and CY for a while cos they've a 4pm lect, so was rotting in the Central Lib lounge... my body was heavy, my eyelids too. And then... I realised I wun be having any more lessons for the rest of the week! It'll be so wasted to go home straight. So I called Cryst and Jo to go shopping, but well, Jo suddenly decided to be studious and wants to study! So of cos being the so considerate fren, I told her it's ok, go study. Then I met up wif Cryst, who is ever so free. Actually on the way to meet her I was so tempted to juz call her and cancel the trip... I was dozing off even on bus 96's short journey to the station la! But I noe she'll probably kill mi... I noe I would if I was her... so well... I juz gotta go. And I'm so glad I did cos I bought so many clothes! And a few of dem so super cheap la! At Bugis St... we were skimming thro the sale racks and found quite a number of v nice tops! And cos of dat poor Cryst's face kena itch, cos she's v sensitive to dust and stuff. Then I was telling her, it's not shiok to have bought alot of stuff... it's shiok to have bought alot of CHEAP stuff. Hahaha... din have so much fun shopping for a long time liao...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/18/2005 11:17:00 PM|
Finally I feel lyk sch has realli started, maybe cos I had my first "tutorial" today... Theatre Studies Practical (Sounds fun huh?) But I did have fun la... cant deny it. We were made to "feel" the stage by keep walking arnd the area designated and cover every single possible empty space. Den later we were made to do mirror images of ur partner, using ur dunno-wad vision, which means to juz look into ur partner's eyes all the time and "feel" their other movement and follow, not by actually looking at their actions. Then we were made to act with ourselves, whereby the instructor will give instructions and we're expected to act it out. Amazingly, I was able to do dat without feeling any embarassment, or restriction on my part. Maybe cos everyone was doing it at the same time, everyone was in their own world... nobody cared if u make a mistake or a funny action. A guy was asked out near the end to act sum grief scene, and he was so dramatic, but it's weird cos I was tinking if the instructor as mi out next to do the same thing, I'll be able to do dat! It's so weird!!! And at the dat pt of time, I became veri comfortable in my own skin, my own actions, my acting.
And den I realised it will realli help mi in my singing class. It wasn't juz a singing class, we're trained to become performers, not only do we have to sing, we have to host, we gotta entertain. All dat seem lyk impossible work for mi... but if I could put myself in the practical scenario and mindset, I can jolly well do a good job of performing! Looking forward to more practicals! Soci lect is kinda bad today, dozed off for the first hr... and onli woke up when she discussed sum famous sociological tests and findings wif us... I thought I can jolly well go drop it too... but since they said we'll have comp lab lessons on stats 2nd half of the sem... I guess I shall juz try my best... damn dry module....
Anw I juz changed a new blogskin... and I'd lyk to have my frens' comments. Juz ANY comments. I kinda lyk the simplicity of this skin... hmm... And oso, see the colour of the last entry? it was supposed to be the one used, it matches the skin. But I tink it's kinda hard to read so I changed it to dark brown... I need opinions on diz...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/18/2005 01:27:00 AM|
Monday, January 17, 2005
I feel so lousy now... Now I finally understand how cum my singing class have so many cmi singing pple... altho many of dem sings out of tune, they have other "specialities". Today we learnt abt projection of the voice. Apparently ur projection have to be veri "bright", and some of them can do it! But I cant do it! Aaaargh!!! Now I finally understand why is it I had to use a mic last time when teaching in NVSS. They wanted our "AH~~~~" to be v bright and clear and sharp... my voice is simply not powerful enough. I tink if Minyu goes for the lesson she sure do veri well for this segment. I rem the first time she went into 2N3 together wif mi for Sci lessons, the class was so bloody noisy and she suddenly shouted "SHUT UP!" -Silence- I was SO damn impressed wif her... no wonder she din have to use mic while mi and Xinyi did... Aaaargh.... how to achieve that type of voice leh? I'm v irritated I cant do it... Maybe I shall ask Min to teach mi...
Aaargh...still v irritated...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/17/2005 01:10:00 AM|
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Haiz... went out wif Sher, Dul and WF (plus her bf) last nite and I was told dat my blog is getting more and more "theory-based". And it's true... I can still rem the way I used to blog in the past, abt how's my day, who I met, wad did we do etc. And for the months when I was teaching, I'd blog LONG entried abt sch, which students irritated mi, which students made mi happy. I'd blog abt how stressful it is to set papers, and den oso how fun it was playing badminton wif the teachers aft sch. So maybe for now I shld talk more abt myself and less of the "ideal" world... it doesn't exist, and I gotta grow up and learn to accept that fact.
Ok, went Thai Express wif the gers last nite... Wendy cant make it cos she's now mixing wif the rich and famous... no time for us anymore... haha. But I realli miss Wendy arnd in our outings... cos she's even more cynical than mi, and her remarks are all so funny. Sher is as chirpy as ever... Dul is becoming prettier and prettier, and so slim now! Envious man... And well, the ever the same WF, happily brought her bf along for our all gers outing... lyk... so duh. But nvm la... lyk I dunno how's she lyk liddat...know her for so long liao...
Going for my 2nd singing lesson ltr...hope it'll be better than the first.... *cross fingers*
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/16/2005 01:51:00 PM|
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I just finished consoling a fren just now... and it set mi thinking abt stuff again. She was so upset, it breaks my heart to see her crying like dat... but she made mi promise not to tell anyone abt it... and I shall keep my promise. All I could say is, it just makes mi even more dejected abt relationships. Really. Sometimes when u thought u found the perfect guy, THE ONE, and u're so happy and blissful wif him... and u thought that this is it, he's the one I'm marrying. And den for sum reason, u found out he's not as perfect as u always thought he was. And you cry...
And den I believe, if u allow ur heart to be touched and you allow urself to fall, you're allowing urself to be hurt, and allowing ur heart to be broken. And suddenly, I wan to keep my heart as closed as possible, in my cosy, safe little nest... sheltered frm all the dangers outside. It's ok dat I wun be able to reach cloud 9, at least I'll never have a chance to hit rock bottom den.
I dun wan to grow up... I wan to remain a little girl forever...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/13/2005 04:58:00 PM|
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
How Dangerous Is An Open Heart? -Sex & The City-
VERY Dangerous...
And on one quiet night ... The opened heart silently closed again....
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/12/2005 03:31:00 PM|
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
And Then He Said "Siao Arh!?!"
I'm so bloody disappointed... Today when having lunch wif a few of my OG mates, 2 girls and a guy, I told dem my cousin actually planned to marry his present gf as soon as both of dem graduate. ( I was talking to her on msn and she told mi abt it... man... I din noe my cousin can be so sweet... despite irritating mi ever since the first day I was born ), ok anw Carin and PZ were saying why the hell would I be talking to my cousin's gf... they dun even tok to their brother's gf! Come on la... we gotta look a bit further rite... for all u noe, u 2 may be related soon... might as well develop good relationship now... but luckily for mi my cousin's gf seems rather nice... And then I was saying, how many guys nowadays would be tinking of commitment already? Then I turned to the only guy sitting at our table,
Me: "If you were to get a gf now would u tink of marrying her?"
He: "Siao Arh!?!"
No hesitation, no consideration. He scolded mi siao. Dats it! How many guys nowadays will tink of marrying their present gf? Now u noe the reason why I refuse to get attached... or even give myself a chance to get attached. Maybe onli 1 out of a 100 guys diz age will tink of marrying their present gf, the rest juz wants a good time, change another one when they get tired of diz one. Maybe even the girls are like dat... maybe if I'm to ask a girl would she want to marry her present bf, the answer may also be a straight "Siao!" But as far as I'm concerned, my close frenz, are ALL not that type I mentioned earlier. All of them hope to marry their current bf, and I seriously wish them all the best man... guys nowadays... *shakes head*
SIAO ARH!?!
Scold mi siao... Asshole...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/11/2005 11:46:00 PM|
Saturday, January 08, 2005
It's Not A Sin To Be Single!!!
Not when you're juz 20 going on 21 and still hanging out wif ur ger pals every alternate days. Note, it's 20, not 30, in case u tink it's a typo error on my part. So wad's the prob now? I believe I'm not the onli one here... there are many single gers out there who are starting to get pestered, hinted, and bugged by "nice-concerning" parents and relatives. No... I seriously believe I'm not the onli one...
All this nonsense started one day last yr CNY where I sorta dressed up a bit nicer for house-visiting, not lyk it's veri much nicer, I dress up much nicer when I go out wif my frenz, but for my relatives, it's the first time they see mi dressed up a bit better than baggy t-shirt and market shorts. Then for the first time in my teenage yrs, my relatives went "Aiyoh, Wan Wan zhang da le, bian cheng xiao gu niang le" (directly translated to be dat I'd grown up now...becum a young lady already) Ok u may be surprised why would I rem such an incident so clearly... cos it's the start of my trauma. Den my uncle started to ask my mother say muz intro sum guys for mi...( they kinda forgot that I wasn't in an all gers JC ), I ran up to the 2nd storey and came down onli when it's time to leave...
Then later in the yr, my cousin had sum bbq, and his mum, who's my aunt asked him to ask mi along la... lyk any idiot would noe wad's the reason. And of cos I refuse to go la... lyk I need such set-ups. And when I thought the ordeal was over, my another aunt found out abt it and gave mi a "talk" abt it... say I shouldn't be shutting myself within my own circles of frenz, should take the chance to open up and noe more pple etc etc... and not surprisingly, I gave my cousin hell after that.
Now dat both my cousins are happily attached, it give mi an added pressure. Like when they bring their gfs over to our family gatherings, and I'll be playing wif my comp alone in the room. Going for family gatherings start to seem lyk a boring chore to do every week. And juz recently at the dinner table, one aunt started saying dat uni life is a time to really find a gd bf, and of cos, the arrow was directed towards mi. Then they started telling mi uni is the best time to find a good bf etc etc etc and how much harder it will be when I'd stepped into the working society etc. And I was trapped. All I could do was sit there and juz keep nodding till I finished my dinner.
OH MAN! Come on... I'm 20 and still single, not 30 and still single mind u! And my fren juz told mi dat her parents are starting to do the same thing to her and dat her frens are also getting it. And look at most of my frenz, quite a number are single, but I can surely say they definitely have the qualities...not those cmi ones...no. Sec sch frenz, JC frenz, uni frenz... all have. But they're still single. Lyk wad one of my frenz said, u gotta meet the right person at the right place and the right time. Wad are the chances? One in a million. That's why those pple who have already found the ONE shld really treasure it. And for the rest of us who're still single, I tink it's not cos we cmi, I tink it's more of dat we tink the guys cmi... that's y we choose to be in this position. There's nothing wrong wif mi hanging out onli wif my many ger pals everyday, I'm not les. We juz happen to enjoy each others' company without the presence of guys... You cant hurry such things, you dun get into a r/s for the sake of getting into one... you get into a r/s when u feel u really wan to, and is ready to. And I hope all parents can understand that. Your daughter is single not cos no guy wants her, it's cos she dun wan the guys! THERE! I feel so much better after letting it all out now... wun noe wad would I do without a blog man...
But since my parents dun read my blog, which means they'll still be stuck wif that mentality, and dat my cousin will be at my aunt's wif his gf again tmr... I shall meet my ger pals for dinner... beats stoning at my aunt's and getting pestered, hinted and bugged.
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/08/2005 04:50:00 AM|
B:
Your Beauty lies in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl nextdoor. People tend overlook you as you are the "normal girl", but you're actually very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that lets you blend. People love the stability you have because as others may come and go, you will always be there and you may always be the same. You like simple things and that's what people like about you. You most likely enjoy things most consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort of thing and are very friendly and probably have many friends. You are sweet and kind and that shows on you, but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a rather well-rounded individual. Even though some people pass you off as just another girl, shrug itoff because they don't know what they're missing.
Some ThingsThat Represent You:
Element:Earth, Light
Animal: Cat
Color: Pinks, Blues, Browns
Song:Girl Next Door by Pilot
Expression: Simple Smile
Gemstone:Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox Demon, Hobbit
Planet: Jupiter
Hair Color: Light Brown Eye Color:Brown
Quote:"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/08/2005 01:37:00 AM|
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
To: Xuanwan
My dear girl... are you so veri sure u noe wad u realli wan? Is everything u're saying is realli wad u wan? You seem to always contradict urself frm time to time... c'mon, wad is it you realli wan? You dunno? Den why is it you always seem so sure when u tok abt wad u wan? Everytime ur frenz cum to u for advice on r/s or simply to juz find sumone to tok to, u always seem to have alot of comments to give, and alot of advice for them. But HELLO!?! You juz had one crappy r/s which din even last for half a yr and u tok as if u noe alot?? Ok and now u are in diz shit position and u're saying u dunno wad u wan? All ur frenz insist that this is wad u wan but u keep insisting dat is not wad u wan. Then when u're asked to look into their eye and give a dead set ans that it is realli not wad u wan... and u got stumped and cant do dat. So now u realise that it is wad u wan? Ok and now ur brain says no it's not wad u wan. Make up ur mind cant u?? Wad the bloody hell do u wan!?!
Luv,
=xuan=
Reply: I dunno wad I wan...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/05/2005 10:27:00 PM|
Monday, January 03, 2005
Life is so fragile..
Met up wif Di-Di, Tab and Bunny... Coolcrunch united again! So glad Bunny came back for holiday. Den Tab brought her bf along...but he sit another table wif his fren la... can see she's realli happy wif him... i guess dats the most impt thing in a r/s lor. Then as usual we were laughing and joking lyk we own the place liddat... esp Di-Di's cynical remarks plus Tab's Paris Hilton imitations... left us all in stitches... hysterical...
Then Bunny asked, "Did u all heard abt ***'s bf??" Den of cos, mi and Tab, being the great gossipers, opened our eyes wide and say, "WAD??", expecting sum huge gossip. Bunny said, "He passed away." *GASP*, followed by -SILENCE-. She told us dat dat guy, our sec sch fren's bf, died of asthma. Imagine... at 24, ur life is taken away frm u juz lyk dat, in a few mins, gone. Maybe the day before he was still having dinner wif his family, talking on the fone wif his gf, doing things dat u and I will do, and the next day, everything is gone. That's how fragile the human life is... judging frm the recent tragedy dat hit the world badly. I believe few mins before the tsunami struck, those pple may be doing usual stuff lyk watching tv, sleeping or sunbathing, and the next min, everything is lost. It's so scary... it makes mi feel so vulnerable... lyk I cant be control of anything. I heard of pple our age ending their life delibrately, for the stupidest reasons lyk over a ger (trust mi, there are realli such cases), do they tink they can make the ger rem them forever by doing that? You jump, u die. The ger is sad, filled wif remourse, but aft 10 or 20 yrs, she'll still get married and start her own family wif another guy. Who is the saddest over ur super brainless act? Your parents who have painstakingly raised u up as a kid and sent u to sch, give u all ur needs and wants, who tries their best to make u happy and loved, yes, unconditional love onli cums frm parents...
Pple... life is fragile and vulnerable enough... treasure it, live everyday lyk there's no tmr. We cannot change wad fate has in store for us, but we can do all we can to live happily...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/03/2005 09:55:00 PM|
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Juz watched finish "What Women Want" on vcd... cool show. I tink all guys should be given this natural ability to hear wad women are thinking... it'll make life and relationships btw pple so so so much easier. Ok.... on 2nd thoughts, lets change that... I wouldn't wan guys to be prying into my innermost thoughts and feelings. I tink all gers should be given the natural ability to hear wad guys think and feel... although most gers can already do dat, considering how shallow are guys' thoughts and how bad they are at concealing their innermost thoughts, but it's still quite nice to be able to noe everything a guy's thinking...
Hmm....watched quite alot of vcds these few days... all bought frm China one... super cheap. Watched "About A Boy" yesterday, "Meet The Parents" last week and so on... dats how boring my life is aft I came back frm overseas. But I'll be meeting Bunny and Tab tmr for *drum rolls* Sakae Buffet!!! I'd not had sushi since I came back frm holidays man!!! The craving is too much for mi to bear... and den I'll be watching Meet The Fockers one of these days wif Catas... but Jo haven confirmed wif mi when...
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* xuan * listened
@ |1/02/2005 03:22:00 PM|
