Tuesday, March 29, 2005
I'm feeling so weak again... thought I was all fine after seeking solace at the Serangoon station toilet on my way home yesterday... blame it all on the darn potato salad frm Olive Cove... hell I'll never ever touch it again. Then for the whole night I din have to rush to the toilet anymore, except for having to wear my big Cedar windbreaker and covering myself up in my parents blanket while lying on their bed watching TV... and my siblings were complaining they were feeling hot. But anw, I thought I was fine the next day, which is today... so I ate and drank the normal rubbish I usually do... went Kenny Rogers wif Jo and Cryst, had super cheesy macaroni and mash potato for the side dishes (damn I feel lyk puking now as I typed these...) Anw it's evident wad crap shit I'd put in my stomach, and then it started again... when I reached the lift on my way home... you should've seen how I flew to the toilet once I opened the door. And now I'm feeling weak again... been to the toilet a few more times... and I'm supposed to play tennis wif Gloria, this new fren I made in TS prac class, tmr... juz msged her to tell her I cant...
Anw for sum bloody reason it always happens when I'm supposed to play tennis or table-tennis. In J1, I took part in the inter-class (or issit inter-house?) table-tennis, and on one of the finals or semis day, I din cum to sch cos got a terrible case of food poisoning the day before... and cos of that we onli got 3rd and I got blamed by it by Angie for a bloody long time. And then J2, I also took part in tennis and table-tennis... I was fine in sch on the day which we're scheduled to play in the afternoon... and I kena food poisoning again... but it was not as serious as the other one... so I still tolerated and played, damn lucky our opponent is not strong... or else Angie will give mi shit again... and now, it's once in a blue moon dat I'll actually agree to sacrifice my free day to cum sch and play tennis... and Gloria was so damn excited abt it cos she finally found sumone to play wif her... and I hafta do it again... I'm juz so not destined to play anything wif a "tennis" word in it...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/29/2005 11:42:00 PM|
Monday, March 28, 2005
Ok... I'm sitting in AS7 comp lab now... supposed to do my soci assignment but decided to juz do the table using the stupid program that is onli available in sch, and then cut and paste it and bring home to do... haha... I simply cant do essays in sch. Anw, supposed to be computing tutorial now... so why am I here? Cos for one, I tried to do the tutorial for today and I realli cant churn out any rubbish to write, and the stupid damn tutor with the name of SENTOSA (santosa actually) came up with this thing of making us hand up each tutorial assignment after he realised many pple never attempt the tutorial for the beginning few weeks... idiot... but I realli heck la. And of cos, I believe many can guess already... my previous Mon has been so bloody ruined by seeing KP1 in lesson, I get so drained of my energy for the whole day, I slept once I reached home and missed Desperate Housewives all becos of that. No way am I going to ruin my Mondays again... next week bo pian got presentation so I shall endure and pop a few tablets for calming my nerves before the computing tutorial... but for this week... I still wan my youth, energy and health thank you... Tink it's time to head down to Central Library to search sum books for my TS practical exam now... gotta find the scripts for the given plays. I cant believe they never provide it for us... My one hr is so much more fruitful this way... *grinz*
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/28/2005 01:24:00 PM|
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Started my first day of waitressing today... so much for waitressing... I was stuck in the kitchen the whole time. Refilling coffee and tea pots, refilling juices jugs, make sure everything's in order behind the scenes. I was so darn bored man... and for that miserly pay... wad the hell was I tinking man. Anw I'm kinda glad my dad dun alow mi to work night shifts. They usually will need part-timers for night shifts onli, which means I got an excuse not to work anymore! I realli wanted to try waitressing for the sake of trying it... and sum waitressing job I got. Ning said if I do a few more times and am more familiar wif the stuff arnd there I'll be able to go out and do proper waitressing... but no thanks... another session of kitchen help will drive mi mad. I mean, I dun even refill the flasks in my house and I'm doing it for them? Ok sorrie... I sound lyk sum spoilt brat... but I cant help it. And juz now when my dad's giving mi my pocket money for this week he gave mi 2 times the usual amt and said it's to buy clothes (cos apparently the reason I gave to my mum for wanting to work is cos I like to spend money but dun feel good spending my dad's money), and after I tried pushing the extra back to him he got quite irritated and said it's an order I have to keep it. Sumtimes I tink I dun deserve such nice parents... I'm always doing things to upset them, lyk getting sum waitressing job knowing dat they dun lyk mi to do such stuff... I dun tok to them in a nice tone all the time, sumtimes when my dad gets overly protective I get irritated and will raised my voice of irritation at him... I mean, my work starts at 7am this morning all the way at Suntec area, my dad woke up together wif mi at 5am to get ready and he sent mi there la... I always remind myself to be a nice daughter but in the end I always forget and lose my temper over the slightest things over them... and now my dad refused to take back the extra, which is making mi feel damn bad. I mean, whenever I tell my frenz my dad lyks to give mi extra money tinking dat I'm always broke, my frenz will always say things lyk "juz take la! money leh..." or "can ur dad be my godpa?" Seriously if ur own dad give u money to spend u'll realli take it and spend without guilt meh? It sux... sumtimes I wish they're not so nice... it makes mi feel bad... which is why I'm even more determined to find a tuition job, since that's the one they realli approve of... The thing is, I dun need the money realli... I juz wan to spend my own money and not my dad's hard-earned money... or maybe I shld simply spend less, and it'll solve all probs.
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/27/2005 09:36:00 PM|
Friday, March 25, 2005
Wad the hell have I gotten myself into...I went for an interview for a waitressing job at Ritz Carlton today, Ning helped mi asked her supervisor cos she's doing her attachment there. At first I was all excited abt being a waitress cos I'd never done it before... in fact, I was very impressed wif the working environment there, the staff were all dressed smartly and the restaurant has a veri nice cosy ambience. And then the supervisor is a nice funny joker guy, realli made mi feel lyk working there. And anw he took mi in and I'm to go for the morning shift this Sunday... and then reality sank in... wad the hell have I gotten myself into??Maybe I'd been to eager to get a waitressing job I din actually consider the factors involved... firstky, the pay. $6/hr... then after dat I counted, if I work for maybe 6 hrs, it'll juz be $36... lyk wth can I do wif $36... but one good thing is dat they pay u on a daily basis. I tink I started my working experience on too good a note, a teacher's pay is the ultimate... now I'm starting to have 2nd thoughts abt any job that pays less than that, and requires more work... so now I'm asking Jo and Cryst if they're interested too since they keep saying they wan to find waitressing job... so dat if I decided to quit halfway I wun feel bad cos I introduced 2 other pple for them... haha... if onli the bloody tuition agency will give mi an assignment soon... grrr...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/25/2005 10:32:00 PM|
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Went shopping by myself today... cos my dad called mi after my class say they gg Timberland to buy stuff, cos apparently got sum sale gg on la. So he asked mi to go alone to town first den shop arnd while waiting for them to cum.
I tink everyone shld realli go shopping by themselves once in a while... I always love to do so... not dat I'm anti-social, but the feeling of shopping alone and shopping wif frenz is realli veri different. Not dat I dun lyk shopping wif frenz, each have their own good points, like u may be able to get a second opinion when hesitating about whether to buy or not to buy, and for shopping alone u'll tend to be more decisive in ur decision-making. When shopping alone u're in control of ur own time... u go into the shops dat u're interested in, without worrying if ur shopping partner oso share the same taste as u anot. And sumtimes when u spend too much time in a shop, ur fren may be already done wif browsing thro everything and then u becum too paiseh to continue browsing and make her stand outside and wait. I've been in both the roles before... and it's realli quite paiseh to make pple wait, as well as irritating to have to wait for pple to slowly browse thro the clothes in the shop which doesn't interest u at all... maybe that's why pple always shop wif frenz who has the same taste as them...
Anw was strolling along Centrepoint that area while holding a cup of my fav bubble tea plum snow shake...den saw this whole long queue outside OG Orcahrd Pt... the queue was so long they already reached that small road between Orchard Pt and CentrePt, and they even had to U-turn... ridiculous. Anw I felt dat the scene is so amusing I went to check out wad's it abt, apparently OG having their 1st anniversary sale... storewide dunno how much la... but onli for OG card members. I had my mum's OG membership card... but no way am I gg to join those pple... juz stood at the side and took fotos of the KS s'poreans wif my fone... *evil laughter*
Anw I bought this realli nice skirt frm Chaos warehouse.... chanced upon it by chance, when exploring new ulu places by myself... so pretty! Oh ya, and juz a plain Giordano tee... I need more basic tops... sounds ridiculous, but I dun have many T-shirts in my wardrobe... but since I'm getting fatter and my arms are getting bigger... I've no choice but to buy sum sleeved tops... *sobz*
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/24/2005 11:21:00 PM|
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Shopping... shopping... shopping...Met my darlings Jo and Cryst today to go jalan-jalan again... altho Cryst came late and left early... but we still had a great timd. Din buy much, juz sum nail polish and accessories. Wanted to buy this top frm Topshop but decided not to, and luckily I made dat decision cos aft dat Jo told mi she alr saw 2 pple wearing the exact top. Dat's y I always dun lyk to buy frm those kinda shop, Topshop, Mango, Zara etc. They're becuming the next Giordano or Hang Ten. So I feel dat if u wan uniqueness, juz go buy frm unknown shops... unknown shops need not be lousier or anything... at least u can be more certain u wun see clones of u arnd whenever u go shop. Here's Jo and I at CK Tang making a fool of ourselves in those kinky sunglasses... (Sorrie Jo, to embarass u liddat, but dun worrie... we're in it together... haha)
I just heard frm a fren dat her fren caught the eye of this guy frm our OG, and now he's bugging her to help him noe dat ger. How upsetting... and I thought he was one of the better ones. In fact, not too long ago I saw him wif this quite pretty ger, den when asked him abt it he says she attached but he likes her la... So I was lyk saying, "so u'll be another Ben la?" He said, ya I tink so. Oh yay great... more "chi xin jue dui" guys out there to prove my theory wrong abt all guys being jerks. And now? He saw this ger and now changed his target. Oh man... and I realli thought so highly of him. But my fren refused to help him la... cos the ger is her close fren and she dun wan to get her involved wif such guys...
Now who else out there wants to try to prove my theory wrong?
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/23/2005 12:50:00 AM|
Monday, March 21, 2005
I am SO bloody pissed wif that bloody asshole KP loser!!! I wonder how long more of this can I tolerate... I swear NEVER EVER to take any module with him again, PLUS, I'll make it a point NEVER to see him in sch again... juz lyk KP2. He was so bloody irritating juz now during computing tutorial la. Cos one of the gers were commneting his ideas added in the report are veri good, are they his own ideas or did he get them frm sumwhere. He said, it's all his own ideas. C'MON! Apparently MS said that KP1 keep approaching him and asking him abt our this project la, since MS is frm computing. Not ur own ideas den say la... loser, taking credit for other's ideas... I seriously tink that my attitude in the proj grp is realli bad, lyk cant be bothered wif the report, din do much research, last min churn out nonsense for my part. But I swear I'm not usually this irresponsible and black-faced group member... it's juz dat maybe cos I SU-ed it. so dun realli bother... but the main and biggest reason is cos of KP1!!! Juz seeing his face makes mi wan to puke... I noe it's damn mean to say that but that's realli how I feel. I tink I'm realli losing it soon cos I'm starting to realli show my irritation... apparently juz now he came up wif an idea (which I tink is DAMN stupid)... he said the govt may wan to change all 4D bettings online, so whoever that wants to bet on 4D, go online and do it. Den I totally dun give face anymore liao la... I said straight, with this irritated voice, dat a large population of those buying 4D are the elderly and uneducated. Make them buy 4D online!?! Use ur brain can anot... and seriously, it was the first time I used such a cutting tone and shoot down someone's idea straight to the point... thanx to Liza and Shih who juz taught mi dat we cant be too nice in the real world... And after lesson I juz walked out in front of them la... hoping I can get the ealier bus than KP to cum back arts... but the stupid bus was so crowded I hafta wait for the next. Then the next A2 bus is SO empty... realli lyk onli 2 or 3 seats taken onli. So I went to a seat near the back and slumped into my seat, ready to heave a sigh or relief and start pitying myself... den, KP1 came and sit right beside mi. WAH LAU!!! The bus got no other seats ar!? Do I look lyk I'm ok wif u sitting down beside mi? So I juz maintained a black and straight face throughout the bus ride... One of these day I juz noe I'll be using a parang to chop him up... and if no one stop mi in time... I tink u'll realli see him foto in the newspapers... Damn my whole day is spoilt now... waiting to go for my favourite lesson of the sem, TA class of Bahasa Indo, but my whole body is so tensed up now... I dunno if I can thoroughly enjoy the lesson later... Damn you asshole!!!
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/21/2005 03:26:00 PM|
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Shopping. Play. Pitiful Old Man. Pervert.I met Liza and Shih today in the afternoon to shop... turned out all of us were late, lyk half an hr later than the meeting time. Haha... we're juz so incorrigible. Anw we had a great time shopping... minus the saturday crowd. Shih even got sum Meritus Mandarin membership or stg and she'd been informed dat there'll be a bag sale there today... so we went shopping there. And seriously, it's the first time I actually went into a hotel to shop... and since it's Meritus Mandarin, kinda bring back memories of prom... not lyk it was alot of fun... but memorable nontheless... But anw the bags were not up to my liking, so din buy anything. My onli conquest for the day is this pair of earrings frm Forever 21. Seriously usually I dun even wan to step into it la... the clothes there are so not mi... but the earrings dat I bought are nice... or so I thought la...
Then we went to Fort Canning Hill to watch this play... and when they said the venue is the Black Box, it is a black box... literally. So we're all sitting in this small black box, wif 4 black walls. The 2 plays were ok... the first one is damn abstract, it's juz four pple standing/sitting/squatting at their own space, at the 4 corners of the room, and juz start spouting lines and lines which sounds lyk have at least 5 layers of semiotic significance. The 2nd play was so much simpler, not so much hidden meanings, straight to the point... and there's this character who is the office gossip and she's so funny!!! I like the 2nd one so much better man... maybe I'm juz not a deep person...
Anw on the way to Dhoby Ghaut station, there's this old man who was leaning on this lamp post and asked mi, as I walked past, if I noe wad bus goes to Simei... den I said no. He looks so weak and lyk teary-eyed and shivering... he told mi he need to get there to use the oxygen tank thingy. I became so scared and stood there helplessly and din noe wad to do. Then luckily Shih and Liza's bus is not here yet, so they walked over seeing mi there wif that old man. Then Liza was juz lyk pulling mi away towards the zebra crossing and keep asking mi to juz go, juz go! Luckily 2 women came and they kind of took over la...tink bringing him to help nearby, cos he looks realli sick. I'm so upset.... lyk even now I'm still tinking of dat old man... I cant forget that sick look on his face, his teary eyes, trembling voice... and all I could do was look arnd for help, when I dun even noe wad can I realli do to help him! I realli realli hope he's safe now... I'll never forget how helpless I felt, facing a helpless old and sickly man, and not being able to do anything abt it. And the way he said "I've no money" when I suggested taking a cab is constantly in my mind even until now... it's such a sad sight! And Liza was saying dats the reason why she dun wan to grow old, and dat it sux to grow old... maybe dats the reason why Cryst wants to die at 65 too... tink it'll realli take mi at least a few days for mi to get over it. It happened to mi before, long time ago when I saw this woman rushing to finish up a half-finished plate of chicken rice at sum hawker centre once the person eating it left... these are such a heart-wrenching sights... and for dat case it took mi quite a while to forget abt it...
I seriously seriously pray dat the old man is safely back to wherever he can get help... if not, I'll never forgive myself for juz walking away liddat...
Anw I encountered this pervert at the MRT station dat realli scared mi... apparently on the escalator I felt this person on the step above mine, and standing realli close to mi, and I turned slightly and saw him looking down my top (ok, my fault for wearing a halter... but c'mon, I got nothing much to show too!), and I immediately draped my sweater over my front. Den at the 2nd escalator down, he was in front of mi la... so he reached the bottom earlier than mi. Then as I was reaching the bottom I saw him sticking his face so near to the escalator glass he can practically kiss the glass, I reckoned he was trying to look under my skirt... but thank goodness I was wearing a knee-lenght skirt. Then so when I reached the station platform I walked far far away frm him to the other side... and then after a while, I see him walking towards this side too! Then on the train I decided dat I couldn't take the chance, wad if he stopped at the same stop as mi? So I stopped at one of the stops btw DG and SK station... and prayed hard he din see I alighted... and hurry called Liza cos I needed sumone to calm my nerves. If onli I had on dat pair of shoes Liza tried on at Mango... den he'll realli get it man. And then I got so paranoid after dat even when walking home frm the station I keep imagining there's sumone following mi behind, and kept turning arnd.
Seriously for the first time since I could recall, I felt so helpless and vulnerable. All the while I had no problems being alone, doing stuff alone... I can travel alone, I can shop alone, I can eat alone... and suddenly juz now, I felt so helpless and so wished I had a guy wif mi there and then. I never felt lyk I NEEDED a guy... and juz now, I totally wished dats the case. Mayb gers are not as strong as independent as much as we tink we are... sumtimes, juz sumtimes, we still need guys... as much as I hate to admit dat...
Such a long day... so many things happened... I'm so tired...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/19/2005 11:16:00 PM|
My life is getting realli stale nowadays, such that I realli have nothing to blog. Issit NUS or issit juz me? Anw I tink I'm developing this realli bad habit... for sum reason at the end of the school week I'll have this urge to go shopping and die die gotta buy sumthing for myself... it's sumthing lyk, to reward myself for enduring the whole week of sch. So yesterday I msged Jo and Cryst to go shopping today, den Jo replied today dat she had to celebrate her fren's bday so cant shop wif mi... and Cryst even better still... no reply at all. Luckily I'm not undergoing sum depression period or else I sure break down one... one thing I hate most is not getting a reply for my smses... especially those dat REQUIRE a reply. Grrr, anw so wad did I-shopaholic do? Go shopping myself la! Went Compasspt and bought a pretty top for myself...haha... totally incorrigible. Anw it had 30% off... so heck la. Enough of my frustrations, since I have nothing nice to update abt myself, let mi continue helping my frenz lament abt their sad plight of having "extraodinary" guys in their proj groups. Firstly, when I went for E lang lect today, Shih was speaking wif this realli sexy, deep and husky voice... she's sick. How did she fall sick? She fell sick after going thro countless "battles" every week for her soci proj group. This guy in her group is a Mr Know-It-All, who thinks his essays are the best in the world and the rest are all crap. He even attempted to change every member's essays entirely. And cos my dear Shih is the onli brave one who dares to stand up to him and tell him his essays are NOT good, and so... since "one mountain cannot hold 2 tigers", every proj discussion is war for her... and so poor her is sick now...And there's this guy frm Liza's TS proj grp. He tinks he's super sauve, every ger wishes to be wif him, and dat he's so bloody charming. I'd never seen sumone else who has an ego as inflated as him. And pls dun get the wrong idea... he's anything but wad's mentioned above. He prides himself in wearing branded goods frm top to toe, but to say the truth, branded stuff look cheap on him. It's not abt wad u're wearing u noe... it's abt who's wearing it. If u realli got the style and class, even if u wear pasar malam clothes, u'll still look fine... and for him, Prada looks lyk Prata. Ok... I seriously pray next sem will be better for all of us... hideous guys... stay away pls!!! Anw 2 pairs of my earrings on auction have closed successfully... and I also sold another pair last week... so happy... finally pple are noticing my work. And when I've established a strong foothold in the online accessories market, I shall ask MS for help setting up my own online store... dat is if he got the time, cos he'll graduate soon and apparently he said he's hoping he can work in this big computer company. Den I told him say if he realli can design computer games that's sold in the market, I'll definitely support him... cos I'm a computer games addict. Ok... not a veri glamorous term to use... but I can get realli hooked onto computer games at times... dat is, the right ones la. I'm getting realli sick of Fast Food Tycoon, cos I'm alr a tycoon... no kick anymore. Maybe I shld surf the yahoo auctions for new games to buy... Realli cant wait for the 3 months break... there's so many things I wan to do withi this 3 months, but juz dunno which to start wif...Anw will be going to watch sum play at the Fort Canning Black Box tmr wif Shih and Liza... seriously hope it will be nice and not another boring play... wadever it is, looking forward to hanging out wif the gers... too bad Kim and Shufang cant make it... or else it'll be so fun! Haha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/19/2005 12:10:00 AM|
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Wah... finally the stupid E Lang presentation today... puzzles I realli noe nuts abt, and sumthing I realli cant crap abt cos it's quite a technical subject, lyk maths. I mean... imagine having to present maths problems... and den try to crap to make the presentation longer. How? Impossible rite? Let's see wad else I have left... another soci report on quantitative analysis, sum assignment on the stupid "3 sisters" text analysis for TS, and computing proj presentation. Is that all? Hmm... I tink so la... hopefully...Anw suddenly tink dat this sem is going to be over so veri soon... sumhow this sem seems shorter than last sem... but twice as buzi la... wif all the projects and reports coming in. I muz choose my modules carefully next sem... so I'll have minimal projects... reports are fine, and tests are... er... ok if it's for juz one or 2 modules. I'm relaxing now.... hehe...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/17/2005 10:14:00 PM|
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/16/2005 06:54:00 PM|
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Juz uploaded all fotos dat haven't been uploaded... (to cryst and jo and the whole of catas... we're taking TOO MANY fotos! it's onli after I started uploading the fotos do I realise that...):: Catas fotos uploaded :::: Cedar Badminton Outing ::
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/15/2005 09:41:00 AM|
Monday, March 14, 2005
Was juz having this long chat wif my aunt over dinner... ok I always have long chats wif her when I cum to her hostel to stay for the nite. Diz time we were discussing abt my eldest aunt, she's the HOD physics of a sec sch, smart and capable... draws a high-end salary and lives in a terrace house. Prob is she is living a life I hope I'll never ever have to... wif a husband who does nothing but sticks his butt on his study table everyday (he's a lecturer in ngee ann poly), 2 kids, one a super rebellious ger and a little kid boy... plus my super hard-to-handle grandmother, who is her mother. Now dat the rebellious ger (who is onli pri 5, and noes how to apply make-up better than many pple I noe) is having failing grades... pple who dunno, which includes my other uncles, think that it's her fault cos she did not have time for her kids, everyday teaching in sch. Now they're asking her to quit her high-paying job to becum a great full-time mother. Her husband will be retiring in 2 yrs time, so who will provide for the family once he retires? And it doesn't help to have this old mother in the house who is more hinderance than help, who adds in her "salt and vinegar" everytime an arguments occurs in the house. My poor auntie looks at least 10 yrs older than her age, and has frequesnt headaches with more illnesses coming her way. And her onli entertainment, which is to go catch a film once in a while wif my mum and my 2nd aunt, is being condemned by my uncles, saying how could she go out and watch movie and not spend time helping her kids wif their hw? Why issit dat no one questions if her husnamd is doing anything den? She has to rush back home everyday after sch to teach and discipline them, and onli at 10.30pm when they've went to bed then she'll bring out her students' assignments to mark till midnight...
And my aunt, the one I'm staying wif now in the hostel, told mi dat my eldest aunt actually wanted to remain single wif her one... and they were already planning to go get an apartment themselves to share. Until sum idiot introduced her present husband to her... she got married at almost 40... Then I was asking my aunt now wad will it be like for my eldest aunt now if she had remain single wif her... I bet she'll be having a much better life then wad she is going thro now. Wif her salary, to juz support one person, she can afford to splurge on herself lyk hell... and to hell wif those illnesses and headaches... to hell wif those pple who feels she is not doing enough as a mother. If I had a kids lyk that ger, I tink I may get a stroke veri soon...
My eldest aunt's a great person... since young I'd heard so much praises abt her frm my uncles and aunts, abt wad a great eldest sis she is and how I should learn frm her to be a good sis to my siblings too. She's a great teacher, she saved my physics, frm a fail grade to B3... and this is after she started teaching mi juz one month before the O's. And my bro oso got taught by her and he got an A2 for his combined sci... She's the aunt who is the most approachable and whenever we go on holiday, she is the one who will always have biscuits wif her in case anyone of us gets hungry on the long coach rides. And I find it totally ridiculous dat pple are asking her to give up her job for her kids... and it's not lyk her kids are worth it. Lyk wad my 2nd aunt told mi, it's always a gamble to sacrifice wad u have for urself, for sumone else... in this case she can never noe wad are the chances of her kid repaying her one day... it's not a 50-50 chance, I noe the ger, the whole family noes the ger... my 2nd aunt says if my eldest aunt's lucky, it'll be a 30-70 chance... 30% dat she'll repay her one day and be a filial ger, and 70% she'll throw her mother out once she gained independence.
Then looking at my 2nd aunt who is single and stays alone... she takes such good care of herself, she looks no more than 45, when she's alr 50 plus. She drives her own car and has her own flat. She splurges on shoes and bags for her indulgence... she does anything she wants to... and does not have to account for anybody. Ok it'll be unfair if I'm to use this 2 extreme examples to compare... let's bring in my mum, the 3rd sister then. She has a great husband, and 3 kids... who are not exactly genius material, a bit naughty and rebellious sumtimes...but still obedient (*grinz*). She gotta cook and iron after a long day at sch, but she has my dad to help out wif the housework... and ya, my dad's butt is anywhere but on sum study room chair. And he fetches my mum wherever she wants to go, and on days she had to go for medical check-up he'll take leave to drive her there, and then accompany her to go shopping at TANGS (their fav shopping mall)... basement 1 (kitchen stuff..!)
So wad's the moral of the story???
If u are not lucky enough to find a great guy to marry... then DUN get married. Either u find a great guy and get married, or u stay a happy single life. You should never ever settle for a non-great guy and torture urself after marriage...
Let the story of the 3 sisters enlighten you... haha. (tink un-TS) How can u still not be convinced???
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/14/2005 11:05:00 PM|
Sunday, March 13, 2005
I was telling my frenz yesterday I've this realli bad "habit"... ok I dunno if it's called a habit or wad... it's juz dat whenever my frenz gimme pretty stuff (edible stuff), especially those wrapped up nicely or is in a nice box, I'll tend to juz leave it there and cant bear to eat them. And after a few weeks, months... they'll still be sitting there untouched. So YY gave mi a suggestion, which is to take a foto of them before gobbling them up, which I tink is quite a good idea. So I'd taken a few shots of those pretty chocs and sweets (altho I still haven eaten then yet)... and amazingly one of them even dated back to X'mas 2003, this box of chocolate coins frm Mel... yar, sounds gross, but I still have them with mi, untouched... haha. Fotos are in my pic gallery, the link "Memories" on top. Haven been uploading pics up to the folder, mayb cos the transfer rate is darn slow in my house... shall do it when I'm in sch...And toking abt sch... I'm getting realli realli fed up abt the upcoming projects. I simply HATE projects I tell u... give mi tests anytime... term paper and reports are fine, even if I have to sacrifice my sleep and energy. I hate group work... I hate working in a group. It's lyk, if u're handling a project urself, u can decide for urself wad u wan or dun wan to do, when u wan to do it and when to hand up. In a grp, u meet all kinds of pple, nice if u're lucky and too bad if u're not. Everybody get their respective parts and have to do it by this date. The whole grp have to meet up and discuss the proj, and most of the time more than once. With so many pple in a group, pple have all diff opinions and suggestions, and sumtimes if u dun lyk this idea but majority wants it, u juz gotta conform. You cant slack... u cant go for proj meetings empty-handed even if u've alot of pending homework on hand. And u cant hand in sloppy work, cos it concenrs everybody's marks. I simply HATE project works!!! And the thought of having to work wif pple in future when I enter the working society simply irks mi. I never liked group work, ever since young... I'd always performed better as a singles badminton player and not doubles.. and tmr I have to send my part of this stupid e-lang project to this guy who is to collate everything, and now I still dunno how to solve my puzzle. Tmr I also have to send this ger my part for my computing proj, and I also dunno the slightest thing abt the whole topic... government portal... kill mi.
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/13/2005 12:38:00 AM|
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Cedar Badminton Outing!The gers finally met up today after dunno how damn long... everyone's buzi wif their stuff, we're all over the place... and it's onli cos Marciella came back frm Australia for visiting dat we'll squeeze time out to meet. Now dat I tink abt it, I'd went thro alot wif this group of gers... we cheered together, cry together... we train together, suffer together and slack together. Seriously my time spent in Cedar is mostly wif the team, than wif the class... Now everyone's all over the place, and no one is still playing badminton... which is realli quite sad, considering wad we've gone thro for this sport before...Ok anw enuff of all this nostalgic stuff... The gers went to this Bali restaurent in Meridien Hotel, owned by Marciella's bf's mother... but we're supposed to keep mum abt it cos his mum dunno abt the both of dem... and they're together for lyk, 3 yrs already... damn weird. But anw they got together after they met each other in Australia where they're both studying at... and it's realli amazing cos they were pri sch frens... (So Jes u see... Pri sch classmates is also possible u noe... *wink*) It turned out to be more of a chinese restaurant frm the food they serve.. it's the first time I'm eating in a restaurant wif my frenz, and the ordering part is realli funny cos we've never done this before so were lyk taking such a long time, deciding on juz a few dishes. And apparently it turned out that the few dishes are not so few afterall... damn full... but considering we pay lyk $12 each... it's realli quite worth it... and the food's nice too! Juz in case it may be of help, it's located at the first floor of Meridien Hotel, called the G7 Bali Seafood House... and yup... they are not paying mi for advertising...Here's us taken at the restaurant:
From left: Ningshan, mi, YY and PeixiaWe den walked arnd at Taka before Marciella go meet her other group of frenz... here's Marciella wif mi at Taka...
And ya, here's a complete group foto of us... (minus Ronghui the buzi woman) And YY was saying this green top is flattering on mi and I scolded her by saying I still look fat in it... all my stupid tummy's fault...
After that we went NYDC to pamper ourselves by indulging in one fattening mudpie each... actually it's onli mi and Ning who're the so brave ones...haha. Den guess who I saw... TSK Jeslyn! Ok... actually she saw mi first and msged mi "Hey the ger in green!" Then I saw her in NYDC, happily chatting wif her guy fren, whom I assumed is a date. Then my frens all super ba-gua one... especially Miss YY who has been ba-gua-ing wif mi since Cedar days... she would halfway tell mi say, "eh they sharing food leh" or "eh tell ur fren he not bad, quite si-wen"... then I msged her to disturb her la... poor her, being scrutinized by us liddat. Moral of the story is not to be spotted by mi when out on a date... hahaha...Then later juz went Lido and take sumore fotos while Ronghui joined us... den my father came to pick mi up after their Taiji session. At first he asked mi to go home myself, den in less than 10 mins he called back and I juz knew that he'll change his mind to cum fetch mi... hehe... which of cos is truly the case la. I tink my parents are damn funny la... after we dropped YY off my dad still doesn't drive off. When she dropped off at the bus-stop, my dad starting saying to us in the car there's this guy at the bus-stop... dunno wad's he doing so late at nite, may be up to no good... den say a ger go up by herself so dangerous. Then as YY walked towards the lift, my father's car is going at snail's pace following her, as both my parents continued to watch her walk... den when she reached the lift, we saw this another woman also waiting for the lift. Den my mum started saying, luckily got someone else to take the lift wif her... den my dad said maybe that ger might rob YY... and I was juz going WTH la... den finally we drove off...Sometimes I'll tink dat my dad is over-paranoid, he's worried abt every single thing abt us, and if possible, he'll wan to fetch mi home everytime. I noe he's doing this cos he's over-protective... but to tink abt it, I tink he juz believes in being safe than sorry. There are many parents who feel safe enough to let their children do anything they wan, cum back anytime they wan... my father will call mi at 10 plus when I'm out, then if he cant cum to fetch mi, he'll send a bodyguard (my bro) to go downstairs to wait for mi. Sumtimes I wonder how long more he's going to do diz... will he ever see mi as a grown-up young adult... or forever a little ger? Seriously even now, he still toks to mi as if I'm a little ger sumtimes. I used to realli hate it wif him not trusting mi enough to give mi the amt of freedom my frenz have, but as I grew older I realised he's just acting the way a worried parent is acting... and when I tink abt it in this way, I dun resent it anymore, and even appreciate his actions. I have already decided dat my dad will definitely treat mi as a little ger forever... and I dun complain anymore, I mean, how many parents out there will chauffeur their kids to sch early in the morning? From Sengkang to NUS?
Funny... how an entry on my gers outing ended wif my parents' behaviour... damn tired now... got project research to complete by the weekend... and I totally hate projects, never liked working as a team... even since young... bleah~!
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/12/2005 01:20:00 AM|
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
All Guys Should Go Watch HITCH!Juz came back frm shopping and movie wif Jo and Cryst!!! It's been 2 weeks since we met up... arnd there la. All cos of my many reports and assignments and tests for the whole of last week... so I was super determined to realli relax today! And I so badly wanted to watch Hitch, the very first time I saw the preview in sum other show! Well... it's not as nice as I thought, but it's still nice! Sum parts are really funny and I feel dat all guys shld go watch it... seriously! And for once they can understand wad we women are realli thinking abt, and wad women realli wan. There's a few parts which u can hear the gers in the cinema emphatizing wif, by the claps of agreement heard throughout the cinema at certain parts. Guys shld realli go watch it, especially those who tink they got a way wif women... but obviously dun.Shopping was G-R-E-A-T! I bought 2 tops frm Zara, both so pretty, and cheap! One of them is $11.90 la... and it's one of my favourite cuttings for a top! The other is an off-shoulder pretty top, and after trying it and got the approvement frm Cryst and Jo, I noticed the tag and it's an "S" size! Haha... but I noe my body better than anybody else, if anything it would've been "upgraded" frm last time, to a M-L or L. So I suppose either they put on the wrong size for that top, or that cutting is super big. But wadever it is, I'm happy wif my "shou huo". Den took a few fotos wif them using my new fone, but still dunno how to upload fotos frm my fone to my comp... waiting for Tab to cum online to teach mi...We den sat outside Spinelli till arnd 10.45, juz toking. And apparently (as usual), turned out that I'm the one who's toking to most, telling story after story abt sch, abt the pple in my sch (both the KP and nice ones), which got mi all worked up even in my so gu-niang attire... haha, it's been a long time since I wore anything pretty for sch, and if not cos I'm meeting the babes after sch, I'll still be in my plain top and 3-quarts... NUS is boring.... BORING... And then Cryst was saying is there realli a prob wif NUS cos apparently her frenz frm SMU have no complaints abt the guys there... while I'm always sumhow, complaining abt them. I tink it's juz NUS... I mean, juz see the number of poor souls in our OG who "kena-ed" those assholes this sem. Shih got Mr Arrogant for her soci group, who dresses in a complete suit for schools, Kim and Liza got Mr Branded for their TS practical grp, who tinks so highly of himself and tinks he's so funny wif his lame jokes... and not forgetting stating matter-of-factly, that "I onli wear branded stuff". And of cos, everyone noe who is the one on MY nerves... Mr KP1... no need to illustrate further. Issit juz NUS or issit juz us? And lyk wad Shih said... why issit that we always get to meet these type of weird and jerkish assholes? Are there no sane and normal guys arnd or issit juz our bad luck?Anw I'd lyk to use this chance to scold Miss Crystal... she dropped my camera the last time at Angie's farewell party, the whole thing went "ping piang pong" and everything fell apart, but miraculously everything fell back in place together, and is working perfectly fine... as in, realli absolutely NO problems at all. Then today Miss Crystal passed mi this wrapped up thingy and said I can onli open it when I reach home or else she'll sever all ties wif mi. And she said I'm to keep it safely in my bag becos it's quite expensive. Lyk wad the hell la... I was lyk why suddenly give mi present, den she say she oso gave Jo. And finally on my way home wif Jo on NEL, I opened it and inside is $300 cash, wif a note saying that it's for my camera, and I have to keep it. Wad the hell... my camera is undamaged... REALLY!!! Crystal dun be stupid la... I cant take ur money if there's nothing wrong wif my camera! I mean it's realli fine!!! Nothing amiss, no blurred fotos, no scratches on the lens, everything's in order... for wad reason I seriously dunno... juz take it dat it's a miracle working in your favour. So pls for goodness sake take the money back! It's an ORDER!!! My frenz are simply too nice... TOO nice...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/08/2005 11:59:00 PM|
Monday, March 07, 2005
The Advertising Slogan Generator (Try It!)Me: See the Face You Love Light Up With Xuanwan.http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/07/2005 11:54:00 PM|
Long Monday again... in fact, I juz woke up frm my nap after dinner to watch Desperate Housewives now. TS today is really bad... as in, the games and everything is fun, until the part the instructor gives up sum scripts to everyone, and when it came to my fren and I, he gave us the "Ellen and Grace" script. Then apparently the instructor had sum problems when it came to both of us. He was lyk scrutinizing the both of us slowly as wif we were objects, wif a scrunched up face and everything, and finally pointed to me and said "You'll be Ellen", then to my fren, "You, Grace." Then when I looked at the script I was lyk... "NO! dun do this to me!!!" Ellen's roles have a lot of the "F" word... and I juz cant get that damn word out of my mouth! Ya I noe I sound stupid, wif so many pple, gers... out there who are spouting the F word lyk it's perfectly fine in their daily conversation. But trust mi... that word has never got out of my mouth before and I dun tink it can... aaargh. I rem there was once in lower sec when there was this bloody irritating bitchy teacher whom Gwen and mi got so pissed about her one day we were pointing our third finger at her (erm...under the table), and she told me she's so angry she feels lyk scolding the F word there and then... then I totally agreed... but after trying (the way u open the mouth and have ur mouth shaped the way the first consonant of the word is lyk... but it's un-voiced in the end... and u can onli hear ffff fricative sound that ends off with nothing), we looked at each other and told each other we just cannot make it. Sounds damn loser huh... but juz sumhow... haha. Dunno if Gwen is able to get that damn word out of her mouth now, but I still cant. Anw that stupid instructor chose mi to be Ellen muz be because I look more lyk the role of Ellen than my fren... well at least he had trouble choosing, if he had chose me to be Ellen without hesitation I'll be quite offended. Do I look lyk I'm a veri vulgar person!? Maybe next lesson I can ask him if I can replace the F word with another equivalent word? Shit? Damn? Aaaargh... he'll prbably say no and have a bad impression of mi... there goes my practical marks...Anw glad dat another Monday is gone... every Monday is all my lessons packed tightly in a day, and after every Mon, it will mean that almost half of my lessons for the week is gone... never fails to make mi feel better. But Tues are bad... probably cos TS starts and ends my day... both facing Grant Shen. Such a bad torture... but tmr is different, cos I'll be meeting my darling Jo and Cryst!!! After being piled down wif reports, assignments and tests... I'm free (For a while...)! Haven met them for a while and it's been so long since I watch my last movie! We'll be watching Hitch tmr... I've been wanting to watch it the last time I saw the preview in another movie I was watching, which is lyk ages ago! Den I wan to shop... so bloody deprived of shopping! And since I'm getting fatter and fatter at the arms... I need to buy a few more sleeved clothes. Dun realli have a choice abt it... it's either that or I start losing weight, but being me... maybe during the hols la... Haha. So looking forward to tmr... after 3pm.
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/07/2005 11:14:00 PM|
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Irrational...A fren of mine was complaining to mi dat her fone inbox is totally full, and I was quite surprised cos her fone is not to old-outdated ones... it's those new ones, which can store alot of msges. So I told her to juz delete those unimportant ones la... assuming that she is the lazy type that will not bother deleting all of her incoming msges. And she gave mi an "er...." look... and suddenly I got it, and scolded her. "Muz be all his msges issit!?! Your fone can store up at 160 msges, how many of them is his??" And she gave mi an "I'm-sorry-but-I-cant-help-it" look, and said she'll transfer those msges to her comp. I gave her a disgusted look and shook my head in despair...He's not even her bf, he is juz her crush. And suddenly something struck mi... suddenly I can understand how she feels, and why is she behaving in this way now. I been thro it before too... and I hate myself for behaving in such a way in the past. When you like a guy, you will start behaving in an irrational way. Like for sms, every sms can make u smile, and even a msg lyk "Take care, Good nite" will remain in ur fone for veri veri veri long, even though it is preventing other more important msges frm coming in. Now I understand why issit that she cant bear to delete any of those msges, and rather transfer all of them to her comp... untouched. Haiz... I had my stupid moments before too... my frenz would have witnessed them before. As much as I'd like to, I would not illustrate all the stupid and irrational things I did before... starting frm my sec sch days... But thinking back, I realise something, pple get less and less bold the older they become. In sec sch when I got a major crush on a guy, I will try all ways and means to get to noe him (without harming anyone of cos), u cum up wif anything, I will have the guts to do it. And sumhow... as I grow older, I becum more and more "hum chi"... and conveniently tell my frenz I juz wan to leave everything to "fate". Damn... I'm so useless now...Anw I was juz telling my dat fren... it's ok I understand. When you like sumone, have a crush on him, u totally lose ur senses... and do things u never thought u'll do before... and hate urself for behaving that way, but at the same time cant stop. Haiz... see her liddat I oso cant do anything. And den I told her I'm darn glad I'm free frm all these now... no crush, no guy I'm interested in. My greatest love is myself... haha... and I hope I wun ever go into dat irrational state ever again... *shudders*
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/05/2005 09:18:00 PM|
Friday, March 04, 2005
I am SO... -DEAD-. Haven been updating my blog, and usually I blog abt things dat happen in my life, wad I see happening arnd mi and stuff liddat. And when it becomes a habit to take note of stuff dat happened in the day to blog at nite, it's not easy to not do so. So for the past few days which I'm so bloody buzi, with reports and tests due etc, I noted down many things I wanted to blog in my brain, and now dat I'm supposed to blog, nothing comes out... damn...Did my soci methods of social research report last nite till 6am, and onli den did I hit the sack... and not before printing out everything nicely and helping my brother do his JAE registration online... and apparently I overslept and woke up at 1030 when I set the alarm for 9. And cos they bloody report is due by noon, I had to take a cab down frm my house to NUS, which cost me $16. Juz for a bloody soci report!!! And den met up wif the same pple at NYDC for dinner and to celebrate Liza's bday... realli was quite irritated cos my fone batt went flat, as in cant even on, so I couldn't take fotos of Liza wif the sweet tiara we gave her! And cos I went home earlier than them... tink they stayed on at Wala-Wala till later... so now I dun see any of them online so cant get fotos frm them...I tink I am getting bitchier and bitchier... I used to be able to conceal my displease with irriating pple arnd mi... and I realised nowadays I juz show it. Today at NYDC I was sitting at one end of the table with a few of the gers... then Mr KP1 and Mr KP2 came in... and sat at my side. I opened my eys so big and look at the gers for help... no way sm I going to have dinner facing them. The Carin shouted across the table and say "XW! I got sumthing to tell u! Come here!!!" den made the veri "gan cheong" action....so I happily dragged my bag along and sat the other side of the table...haha... I realli totally cant stand them!!! And for sum reason there is a growing population of such irritating guys arnd... judging frm how Shih was almost banging the table juz now abt this total asshole in her soci tutorial group, and how Liza was going on and on abt this another asshole in her TS practical group. And not forgetting how I spouted everything in Peizhi's face abt Mr KP1 everytime he bloody irritated mi... I could bang and break the canteen table if I have enough strength and if the sch will not penalize mi for vandalism... aaargh...toking abt him makes my blood boil again... den after so long wif Mr KP2 MIA, hearing his voice today again makes mi super sick... I shall stop this topic.... I may spoil my keyboard if I continue...I shall give myself the whole of tmr off... a well-deserved break... no work at all... not at all....
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/04/2005 11:42:00 PM|
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Haiz... so long never update... 3 days to be exact... I feel weird... haha. Had a damn tiring day on Sunday... Jes pulled mi to take part in her Soka youth cultural dance held in July, we're doing a Bollywood dance. And considering I'd not exercised and worked my muscles for damn bloody long, I was limping in sch for the whole Monday... in fact, I'm still limping today. To be precise, it's walking with both legs super stiff, and when walking down stairs look as if I'm going to go into labour soon. Totally no image... aaargh...
Yesterday went for my TS practical early in the morning, dunno issit cos it's 9am, or issit cos I juz had one week of break... I was yawning lyk 3/min... jaws nearly got locked. Worse still we had another instructor, who toks so much and had minimal activities... I nearly slept right there on the dance studio floor. And sumthing else that made mi wonder a bit... there's this sci fac ger in my TS class, and frm the first class she already showed herself as super onz and drama-mama. And the thing is she always cum for TS practical wearing veri nice, wif huge chunky necklaces. I always hear frm sci pple dat in their fac their always wear veri super plain cos no one dresses up... and when they need to cum arts for lessons they will purposely dress up cos it's not everyday they can do so. But when I saw that ger, then I look at the rest of the arts gers in the class, she look veri veri dressed-up. The arts gers juz look normal, plain tee and jeans or bermudas even. Tink pple always have the misconception dat arts pple dress super nice, there may be this handful dat dress as if they're going for sum D & D or wad not... but that's onli the minority. I juz saw this ger wearing fbt shorts in canteen today...
O Level results was announced yesterday... and my brother manage to get enough pts to get into JC... thank goodness. Not fantastic, quite bad actually, his pts... but at least he have a choice now of whether to go JC or poly... not lyk he have to go poly no choice mah. He failed his combined humanities though... haiz... it's all arts fault... and i was hoping he could get A1 for both maths, cos until today I'm still upset I got a 2 for A-Maths... but haiz... he got the same as mi... bleah~
Juz finished lunch and bitching session wif the gers in the canteen... supposed to have TS tutorial later but I realli cant go. Supposed to prepare an oral presentation abt my report, but how to prepare when I haven even started on the report proper?? I'm so screwed this sem, skipping tutorials and lectures... but I juz declared SU for computing juz now... haha. Hopefully I can get thro it in one piece, but it's not helping dat I'm currently hooked onto the comp game Fast Food Tycoon... every nite when I on my comp to start on my report I'll end up playing it till 2 plus den go slp. Whenever I tell sumone I'm hooked onto comp games, or dat I slept late cos I stayed up to play games, they'll gimme a funny look. Especially frm guy frenz... they gimme a look lyk "I din noe dat gers can be hooked onto comp games too". Damn it la, I dun play Warcraft, CS or wad shit la... I play frenly family games... hehehe... but this game I'm into now is not THAT frenly, it's abt doing a pizza business and expanding ur empire. There are even functions to use underhand methods, lyk bribing ur rival's workers, sending a stink bomb or cockroaches to their restaurant, bribing the mayor to favour ur restaurant, hiring criminals frm the prison to blow up ur rival's restaurants... but so far I onli used the stink bomb and bribing mayor feature... Oh ya and u can create ur own pizza recipes and personally "build" ur pizza. Ok shit... I shldn't be toking abt this now... it's so convenitent to juz click on the shortcut on my desktop now... aaargh.
I shall be a hardworking ger and work on my report while waiting for YY and Gwen to cum look for mi... interviewing YY for my soci report... which is a 2nd one after the TS one la... hopefully I'll be able to finish both by this friday... then I can realli relax man...
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* xuan * listened
@ |3/01/2005 01:07:00 PM|
