Saturday, October 29, 2005
I Am Narcissistic... And Proud To Admit It!Recently my groupmates this sem started adding everyone on frenster... den the first thing that this group mate of mine told me when he saw me the last tutorial is... "Xuan, you are SO narcissistic!" And I gave him an "ARR!?!" look.... He said he looked at my frenster profile... and when he clicked on my fotos he damn shocked... according to him I have a hundred fotos of myself up there. STUPID... and he wasn't the first one to comment abt my frenster fotos...
Frenster is about YOUR profile, meaning the fotos u put up should be YOUR photos... doesn't make sense to upload pictures of scenery or other pple rite? And now frenster allows u to upload 20 over fotos... wait... I tink the newest update is that u can upload 50 photos... it juz doesn't make sense to upload juz 2-3 mah... Haha... but I AM somewhat narcissistic, nothing wrong wad.. I always believe that it's very important for a person to love him or herself, just that for me... I love myself ALOT la... hahahaha...
And today YY told me, say pple's frenster usually put pics taken with frens... but mine is mostly my face. Eh... seriously... if put group fotos wouldn't the account be called "blah blah and frenz" instead of "blah blah"? Ok nvm... I'm juz finding excuses for my narcissism...
I LOVE MYSELF LOTS AND LOTS!!!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/29/2005 12:24:00 AM|
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Flight PlanI cant sleep last nite! Had lessons at 8 but I was still tossing and turning at 2 plus at my aunt's place. I followed my aunts and my mum for their weekly movie entertainment, not bcos I wanted to watch the movie, but cos if I dun follow I wun have dinner. Imagine even when I was walking into the cinema I still had no idea what show we're watching? Ya, apparently it's Flight Plan. And why is it that I cant sleep after that? Cos scenes of that movie, PLUS the file 15 I watched in the day, kept flashing through my head as I was trying hard to sleep. I CANT! Then I tried on-ing the radio, but it's no use... I still kept thinking of both shows. In the end I had to sleep with my earpiece stuck in my ear as I blast music frm my mp3 player.
Anw abt that show... it makes you wonder if sometimes what you see is really there, or is it just a fragment of your imagination? And it is scary to realise that the real and the imaginary can actually have difficulties to be differentiated. Maybe I was with this person just now,and suddenly he or she is not here. So was I really with him or her just now? Or did I just imagined it? And sometimes when what you believe is contradictory to what everyone around you says. do u choose to stick by ur own belief, or do u falter? Just some questions to ponder upon... Anw if any of you feel lyk watching a movie but have no idea what to watch, go watch this... it's REALLY good...
Anw off-track a bit, I just had my last tuition session wif my P4 kid today... was feeling quite moddy throughout the session. It's always liddat... the students irritate the hell out of u until u feel so much lyk quitting, but whe it is really time to quit, you become kinda attached to them and u cant bear to. Today my student suddenly became so nice... I almost wanted to continue next year. But I told myself to be firm... teaching pri level is really too great a workload for me. -SIGH- And I specially bought Famous Amos cookies for him as a farewell gift...
SIGH SIGH SIGH
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/27/2005 11:02:00 PM|
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
15Just finished my last S'pore Society not long ago... the lecturer spent the first hour summing up all the topics for this module, and for the 2nd hour, he showed us the movie, 15. He initially wanted to let us watch it a few weeks ago in conherence with our topic "Youth Sub-Culture", but had some problems with the censorship board. Today he said he's allowed to show us a shortened version of the show, abt 15-20 mins.
At the beginning it was funny, they showed the conversations between the 2 Ah-Bengs (REAL-LIFE gangsters), and between short intervals they have them singing their hokkien-full-of-vulgarities songs. Now I know how come this show had received numerous awards. For every scene that you laugh along with, there is also something even deeper that is thought-invoking, and for that side of that scene, it is anything but funny... it is sad. In one scene they showed the 2 boys having this exchange, about this girl that they saw jump from the building one day. One of them said that it's the 3rd case in the week already. The other replied, that maybe it is the trend now. The whole LT laughed, and then the first boy said, "then maybe I can break the record and be the 4th one.
And in one scene one boy asked the other, will we be frens forever? The other answered, there is no such thing as a forever fren or foe. We will be frens as long as it lasts. And in another scene, they showed this one nursing a wound of the other, which is caused by one of their frens, who became a traitor against them suddenly. And in another scene, 3 boys were sitting at the playground, one asked the rest, "have you ever thought of what your future will be like?" One of the other boys replied, "hopefully I can pass my N'Levels, then go ITE, come out get a job and slog till I die. If I'm lucky I can find a wife and get married." The other boy replied, "That is if you are not brought to prison yet, or is already hacked to death."
Another scene, one of the boys tell the other he cannot come over to him house the next day because his mum is celebrating his bday for him. The other asked, how is she going to celebrate for him? He said, "cook for me lor." And the scene following this showed this boy sitting on top of the letter boxes at the void deck, with alot of wounds on his face. And he called his fren, asked whether he can stayover at his house today. His fren asked, I thought your mum is celebrating your bday with you? He said, "I am driven out of the house because I failed my maths test." He proceeded to ask his fren are his folks fine with him coming over at this time, and his fren said that they have no right to interfere with his activites, and adds that everytime he goes to the homes of his other frens he is so jealous when he sees the family warmth they get to enjoy.
One of the last scenes showed the fren singing bday song for this boy, and then smashing the cake into his face. The boy started crying. He said ever since his grandmother died, no one has bought a cake for him... and he told his fren that he really appreciates it cos he knows that his fren is poor, and yet still bought one for him. And then his fren gave him a cigarette and lighted it for him. He took it out of his mouth and broke it into 2, and gave the other half to his fren. He said, "This is my last cigarette, and I wan you to share it with him. I dun wan you to die before me, because I wan you to be at my funeral."
The ending showed a black screen and subtitles, of what happened to these "actors" now. One of them is in prison or stg liddat, the other has received his 3rd public caning. The last one, the one who said that speech above, "Whereabouts Unknown." And I could already feel tears welling up. It suddenly reminded me of my student. For some of my frens, you may know that my ex-student frm NVSS had jumped to his death not so long ago. The other students told me it's cos of gang affairs. This show further confirmed, that it is highly possible.
Gangs, to me, is something you only see in movies. And even if you hear bengs talking about them in real life, you'd think that they are juz trying to act cool, those kind see police car run already. But now I realised, they really exist. And they're scary. And it's super saddening to also realise that there is this group of youth in society, like what potrayed in the film, who chose to go this path, who are foresaken by their family, and choose to stick to gangs, where they hope to find a sense of belonging. They are a group of youths abandoned by society, and deemed hopeless by their families, teachers and peers. It is very upsetting to see this side of society when you've always been on the other side, where u have everything and anything.
After my lecture I went to meet my proj mates for meeting, but throughout my mind was still on the show. One of my group members asked me how come I looked so dazed, and asked me how was the show (Cos I sms-ed one of them to let them noe I can leave lect early cos they showing a show which only lasts for less than an hr). Then I started telling them a very summarized version of the show, and I could feel my lips quivering, and they hurry dug for tissue. And then I told them that it reminded me of my student. He jumped too... not too recently.
This is what I got from surfing the net for information abt the cast of this film:
Much of 15, which is cast with real teenage gang members, has no discernible plot, due partly to the fact that one of the stars was arrested for stabbing another gang member halfway through filming. It is a no-holds-barred, fly-on-the-wall part-documentary, part-drama of their unconventional lifestyle.
One "actor" repeatedly slashes his wrists with a box cutter, another forces a condom packed with drugs down his throat to smuggle overseas, two pierce each others' faces to insert studs and one squirms as he gets a rudimentary tattoo."The act of inflicting pain on themselves is like a form of rebellion," Tan said. "I think I do have a responsibility [to intervene] but I have a greater responsibility to tell the audience how they lead their lives. Uuurgh... I feel sick again.This is such a sad entry... now I wished I should have jolly well skipped this last SS lecture since I'd already skipped so many...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/26/2005 04:12:00 PM|
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Stress-Buster From Shih!!!
I was in school having my proj meeting when I received a msg frm Shih saying she needed to meet me to pass me something. And this is what she gave me! Shih made stress-busters for all the Giggly Girls! So sweet! Thanks Shih! Haha, when I brought it back for my tutorial one of my frens even "kop-ed" a sweet from that box. Imagine how hard I had to resist eating the goodies inside, cos I am fasting. Yes... I am fasting. Had 2 malay girls in my Psycholinguistics proj group and nowadays when we meet up no matter how hungry me and the other chinese girl are, we TAHAN!!! It's juz not nice to eat in front of the malay girls when they're fasting... in the end, pple fast, I fast too. Bleah~
But the 2 of them are really cute, had meeting yesterday at 12, den cos I noe I'll hafta starve again, I woke up earlier to cook maggi mee, and went to school with a full stomach for proj meeting. Then halfway thro the meeting the other chinese girl announced that she's hungry, and asked me if I wan to go with her to the canteen to buy food. Alamak. I wanted to scold her for talking abt food in front of the malay girls... but not very nice la. Then I said softly, "I ate maggi mee before I come..." Then suddenly one of the malay girls exclaimed, "what flavour?" WAH. Then the entire group started engaging in a maggi mee discussion, which flavours is the best, which brand is the best. That 2 malay girls are SO cute... hahahaha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/25/2005 08:49:00 PM|
Monday, October 24, 2005
Something meaningful I came across when reading through some literature review my group mate found...
Listen a lot, Speak a little.One word is enough to make a lot of trouble.One mouth, two ears.A barking dog does not catch a hare.A fool speaks a lot,A wise man thinks instead.Brevity makes a good psalm.One word is as good as nine.So maybe from now onwards I shall zip up my big mouth... haha!!!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/24/2005 12:51:00 AM|
Friday, October 21, 2005
Siblings Bonding Day!I had such a GREAT time today with my bro and sis! And believe it anot, I had such a fruitful shopping trip I think I'm gg to start shopping alone more often as well as together with my sis. I reached town at abt 12, my sis ends sch at abt 1, so means I have abt 2 hours to shop arnd alone before she comes. And within this 2 hours, I bought 2 tops, one frm Pepper Plus, one frm WH. And then my sis came, we went to Taka shopping centre. Cos apparently the Taka vouchers given to me by YY & Gwen for my bday are yet to be spent, no matter how many times I'd went to scout Taka Shopping Centre I juz CANNOT find something to buy. And today went with my sis I told her pls help me spend the vouchers. Haha... we ended up trying lingerie!!! It's so sisterly bonding can... we could've went into the same dressing room but we made our choice simultaneously so we were lyk going to and fro the changing rooms, one at a time. And in the end each of us bought a PC set each!!! Lingerie shopping has never been so fun! I only paid $5 plus in cash for them. And then I had $20 voucher left... my sis suggested to get a top for my bro. See... so nice of my sis. In the end we got a converse tee for my bro... I refused to let him continue to wear his sleeveless tees that shows off his muscles (so gayish!), so the tee is a sleeved t-shirt. By right I should pay an extra $5 plus for that tee, on top of the voucher, but when paying for it the woman said they having sale, I only paid $1.15 for his t-shirt. Hahahaha!!! Thankew Gwen & YY for your vouchers, on behalf of me and my siblings!
And after that we went to meet brother at Kovan for Sakae sushi. He reached first and by the time we reached he has already finished 5 plates. See... wan to have buffet, must always bring a brother there... to offset the loss incurred by the sisters. Haha. My sis had to unbuckle her uniform skirt after the meal. And cos my bro wants to rush home asap for his 7pm show on ch 8 (I noe this sounds damn gay, but yar, my bro follows that show very closely. I mean.... S'pore production!?! Aaargh...), so he went back first, not before me making him bring all the big shopping bags home. And then my sis and I walked arnd Kovan see got anything to buy anot. The Kovan bead shops is so lousy now I totally cant find anything nice to buy anymore... told my sis I'm discarding this shop on my list of beading shops to patronize now. And she asked me to lower my volume cos I was IN the shop and my volume is not exactly low... very energetic after a full dinner la. Haha... Oh and my sis suddenly feel lyk drinking alcohol, so we went 7-11 bought 2 bottles of those flavoured Bacardi. She drank finish one bottle by herself after I konked out after bathing on reaching home. Siao. But luckily she paid for them cos I had only $5 left in my wallet by then. I paid for shopping, for sushi and just everything. And to think early this morning when my dad fetched us to sch, upon hearing that we're gg shopping after that, gave each of us $50 for shopping, even though I kept telling him I have money lor. My darling daddy... the one who always thinks we need money. Hahahaha!!!
Anw... juz one thing to add. I really dunno wad will I do without my siblings. Talk to myself at night? Who to gossip with when I feel bored at home? Who to watch stupid TV shows with? Who to go shopping with? Who to stand by me even when I'm doing something bad? Who to tell stuff which I cant tell my parents? And the list can go on for pages and pages. I swear if I ever have kids, I'll have more than one definitely. I LURVE MY BRO & SISTER!!!
*Muackz*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/21/2005 11:41:00 PM|
I'm free for the day... at 10am now. Had a one hour tutorial at 9. Tried my best to stay awake cos it's Ho Chee Lick's tutorial, in the end I can help it but dozed off at the end of the lesson, (those kind of 5 seconds slp, den wake up, 5 seconds slp, den wake up). Then when I woke up at one point of time I caught Dr Ho's attention. Aaargh. And right after that he said to the class, "No more questions? Then I think that's all... I tink I'm going on and on and boring all of u." Aaargh!
Took back my test 2 on drawing tree sentence structures from Dr Ho. Wah... was so happy I passed. I got 7/10. Considering that I got 3.5 /10 for my test 1, 7 /10 is good!
Until I saw this girl in front of me who got 9.
-WTH-Meeting my sis after her sch, which ends at 1. We'll be doing some sisterly shopping in town! Cool! And since I've so much time on my hands now... think I'll just do some stuff in the comp lab and then later go jalan-jalan in town first lor. Then the plan was that after we jalan finish, we'll take the NEL to Kovan, reach at abt 4, where my bro will meet us for Sakae buffet! Wad an exciting programme I have lined up for today! Siblings day! Haha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/21/2005 10:02:00 AM|
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Went out wif my darlings Jo and Cryst today... shop and eat, shop and eat. But seriously ar... I tink i'm old liao... last time, even though I have school before meeting them, we can still hang out till 10 plus 11. Today at 7, after we finished our dinner, I'm already in the "yawning-mode" and told them I wan to go home sleep. And even though I brought camera today I forgot to take fotos wif them. Met the Giggly Girls at the canteen for a while... and they're all so stressed!!! They looked lyk wad I looked lyk last week. Damn lucky my projects are clearing up soon... Here's some fotos to cheer everyone up! Enjoy~~
AMITABHA ~~
The Pink Ribbon Project!?!
Look who's acting cute....And Lastly....
Was on the way home on the NEL wif Jo when we saw this woman wearing these pointed slip ons... with her pinky toe sticking out! I mean puh-leez... buy a bigger size that can accomadate ALL ur toes la... so damn unsightly. Haha...
Ok enough of making fun of pple... gotta add my part to one of my group project now... Bleah~!
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/18/2005 11:37:00 PM|
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Jen's 21st BdayI had such a great sleep last nite... made up for all the lost sleep of the entire week. Woke up feeling so refreshed. Den I made my earrings, gotta restock them cos recently had quite a few business I need to make up for the empty spaces in my shop. And then waited for Gwenny to come fetch mi at 9 to drop by at Jen's bday party... sec sch fren... not v close... but well... she invited us... Juz go catch up with old frens... haha...
That's me and my twinny Gwenny. YY supposed to come with us but she watching Raffles Hall production... lame...
Me and Audrey...
Me and Gwen wif the bday girl Jen...
Shuya, me, Gwen and Audrey
Gwen took this foto of me... haha... I look kinda duh.... hahahhaa...
My Cedar lower sec frens! Now who can disagree wif mi that Cedar produces chiobus? Too bad if u disagree, cos this is MY blog! Hahaha...
And then Gwenny sent me home after dat. So nice to not have to take public transport... haha. Called YY to ask her wan us to go fetch her the 3 of us can go for prata that stupid woman still at NUS... and Gwen refused to go all the way there to fetch her. Haha... somehow only for Gwen and YY I can suggest stuff lyk gg for supper, cos for some reason my dad trusts them alot... maybe cos we frens since sec 1. I believe if YY really joined us I can call my dad say the 3 of us going for supper he also allow lor. Haha...
Anw digress abit, was juz talking to my sec 3 student on msn. He told me he waiting to get his physics and chem paper back... he tell mi he hoping to get at least A2 for both. Then he told me cos I was the one who taught him science last year and actually got him interested in it... before that he din lyk science one. Then he even thanked me for it. Oh man... this is exactly the kind of influence I wish to have on students if I go teach in future. Imagine I actually made an impact on his life and changed it in some way. I was so touched juz now... *Sobz*
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/16/2005 01:34:00 AM|
Friday, October 14, 2005
2 Days In a Row...I am SO TIRED...
Yes... 2 days in a row, I'm staying back in sch till late late. Yesterday I had lessons frm 8-2 straight, went for proj meeting at 3, ended at almost 6. Went straight to tuition, was late, so finished at abt 9. I was so dead my dead was so heavy.
Today, I had lessons frm 9-12. Had Bahasa rehearsal after that, den had SS proj meeting at 2. Well, at least we're done wif the SS one... one more down! And after the presentation later, the Bahasa one will be down too! Soon one by one my projects will be cleared! But it also means I'll end super late today... maybe at 9? I'll really have to crawl back by then... but I made YY take train wif mi so we can crawl together.
Tink by next week by projects will all more or less be cleared... and I'll be a free man again! I cant wait to go out wif Jo and Cryst on tues! We haven met up for so long!!! And we used to meet up every wk! Haha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/14/2005 05:11:00 PM|
Such An Engaging Chat!I am having one of the most enjoyable msn chats now... guess the topic... no prizes for getting it right. BABIES!!! I finally found someone who is as crazy as me about those little darlings!!! I am so hyped up now although I has a super long and draining day today. We talk about my favourite botak babies... how we would flirt with babies on the train, how NTUC has alot of babies, and that we can go KK Hospital to stare at those newborns!!! OMG.... I so feel lyk having one now...
Shit la, head a bit pain now... tink really overworked today... tink better end my babies talk on msn now and go sleep...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/14/2005 02:03:00 AM|
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I am the GENIUS!Woah.... guess who's at work again? Genius Xuan. Haha... my lessons ended at 2, and meeting my group mates at 3 for discussion. And within this one hour, I'm supposed to figure out how this linguistic software operates because we'll be using this software for our project... recommended by our tutor. And cos my proj mates all comp illiterates, the heavy responsibility lies on my shoulders. And I was looking so stressed in the canteen, with the laptop in front of me, ear piece in my ear, talking into the microphone that is plugged into the comp for recording of voice. I look lyk an idiot. But within this one hour, I figured out how to use white noise to insert into the part of the sound clip we're eliminating. And my groups mates were SO impressed by me! Haha... and to think that just last nite Lemon was laughing at me for not knowing how to add sound into my Bahasa powerpoint. But anw... my powerpoint is done up very well on my own! See! I could do it one juz dat too tired last nite ok... Oh man I'm still so proud that I managed to figure out that stupid linguistic software.
And then one of my proj mates was telling us that she is super amazed by me, and that she hates doing computer stuff. She said she never ever done up a single powerpoint in the entire 20 years of her life. Imagine during sec school I do up my own powerpoint just for the fun of it when I was free... now I seriously think I'm a guy in a girl's body... oops, dun sound right. Maybe the way Crystal would say it... being man at heart. Haha. Altho it gets quite frustrating sometimes... it's damn accomplishing when u finally figure out an alien software lor...
Okok... better go back to my discussion now...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/13/2005 03:09:00 PM|
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Your personality is the proper, poised, and elegant
one. Yes, elegant. You were brought up right
and you plan to keep it that way. You,
rule-follower, are the most graceful of them
all. You plan to bring up your kids the way you
were, and believe me you have it in you. Loosen
up. You've got a great personality, which will
stay with you forever, but you can still try to
add to your figure. Although you have friends
that respect you, a family that is proud of
you, and are /content/, you are still seeking
more. You want not only to be respected, but to
be known as a great person, which you are. Just
show it to the world. Because you can!
What Kind of Person are You? [beautiful anime pics, and lengthy details, as usual!]brought to you by QuizillaOMG... this is so true it's scary... I need to loosen up... loosen up... loosen up. People have been telling me these exact words these days... aaargh...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/12/2005 10:39:00 AM|
I am a Daddy's GirlYeah totally... I really dunno wad will I do without my dad. He always has us as his topmost priority, being our chauffeur everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean literally, everywhere. I just reached my aunt's hostel, and it's 12.30am now. Of course, my dad drove me here. And I feel so bad for making me drive me here at such a late hour, all due to my carelessness.
I could not leave the house earlier cos I needed to wait for my Bahasa proj mate to send me the pictures and music files. And also had to ask for a fren's help to help me edit those sound clips, from an entire song, edit out around half a min of it. Hey Alvin, thanks for your help btw, so sorry you had to go home to help me do this when you should've been staying over in school in preparation for ur camp tmr. Thanks a lot, and my project mate says thanks to you too! Haha...
Ok anw, then we left the house at arnd 11.30pm. I was carrying my heavy schoolbag, within which contained my heavy laptop, the laptop adapter and all the rest. And in another big bag, I have my clothes, my towels, my toiletries etc. And I'm really packed to the brim, literally. Then in the car, I was happily singing along to oldie CDs of my mum in the car, and then my dad asked me, "Which one is lane 3?" We were driving at the centre lane then. Without hesitation, I pointed to our right lane, saying "There!" in a damn smug tone. And immediately my dad laughed at me. Not just normal laughing you know... it's the kind of laughter my brother uses on me when I say something stupid. Dot dot dot. Then my dad told me it's the left lane, and we started discussing about stupid traffic rules in Singapore. And then... when we were quite near to the hostel, I shouted, "Alamak!" I realized I had so many things to bring to my aunt's place I forgot to being my Bahasa text. Only one textbook mah, but apparently I have Bahasa class tmr, as well as Thurs. And actually it's fine, cos I can always lend from a fren who is not in the same class as me. BUT, I slipped my Sociolinguistics group discussion notes inside the Bahasa book. And since I need to complete my part of the essay by tmr, I had to go back to get my book.
And my dad didn't even complain or scold me, he just made a U-Turn and went all the way back home to get my stupid book. My mum was damn shocked to see me open the door instead of my dad. Haha. Well anw in the end I reached this place at 12.30am la, and not surprisingly, kena scolded by my aunt. Man... if I really end up like my this aunt, unmarried, most prob I'll develop her bad temper and lack of compassion, sometimes. I mean, comparing her with my mum and eldest aunt, she's the strict one, always scolding us, and my mum and my eldest aunt will be the ones always pampering us. My mum said before, why is it sometimes it's obvious that our behaviour is not very acceptable, but she still condones it, and in turn get scolded by my this aunt. She said it's because my aunt is not married. Once you're married and have kids, you'll naturally understand. Ah well... I better go brush my teeth and start on my reports now... quietly, in case I wake my aunt up and get scolded for staying up so late.
Edited: I msged my dad "Selamat Malam" before going to brush my teeth just now, And this is what he replied me, "Selamat Malammmmmmm". I mean seriously, which dad plays such sms-ing games with his daughter? Haha...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/12/2005 12:35:00 AM|
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Photos for Eil's birthday are up, check them out under the photo link. If want the original sized ones pls get from me thro msn...http://eilbday05.mypicgallery.com/
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/11/2005 01:55:00 AM|
Monday, October 10, 2005
I am so messed up... so so so messed up...I always wanted to have a clique that consists of both girls and guys, juz to have a plain clique of frens who meet up, have fun, share, laugh, enjoy. I really do... and when I found one... I thought, ok great, I like this group, I have fun with this group... I made more frens from all walks of life... I'm happy.
First meeting was great, had fun, laugh, enjoyed myself. 2nd meeting still fun, went ktv, laughed arnd, joked online. That's for me la... internally there's some "problems" already. Some arrows shooting here and there. But I was left out of it, and I'm happy being just a bystander and a listening ear to the ones who needed it. 3rd meeting things start to change. I start to get entangled into those arrows too. Msn conversations become so stressful, other than the main window, I have many others to man. It wasn't like before anymore... I cant have fun joking arnd in the main window, cos I have so many others to attend to. I started to feel the stress.
I became very stressed when an arrow is shot at me. And up till now I never failed in my judgement. I was bewildered cos I dunno how to handle it. He was just like a little boy to me... and I became more and more affected by it. Today someone else told mi no, things are not what I thought they are like... but how convinced am I? I'm not... really. If u knew everything dat was exchanged between us, u wun tink there's nothing gg on. It's something like what I'm told and what I witnessed is 2 totally different things, how to make me convinced?
I'm having a headache now... I dunno what to do about everything. I feel like just blocking all of them on msn, go back to my peaceful boring life... I can do away with all the drama... it's too much for me to handle. And no... I'm definitely not having PMS, cos that thing just ended... so I'm not throwing any tantrums here... I am REALLY stressed by everything.
Just let me shut myself out frm everything pls.... can someone tell mi how to? I was feeling so suffocated just now, so breathless I was heaving so hard for my breath. It sounds exaggerated but I swore it really happened. I wan my plain life back...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/10/2005 03:56:00 AM|
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Happy 21st Bday Eileen!!!Went for Eil's Party yesterday... damn tired when I reached home today. But last nite was really fun... I juz love the Giggly Girls! Met Kim darling at arnd 6 plus at Tampines Mall, I had to get my red lipstick u see... den we took cab down together. That woman is the ultimate. She came to meet mi wearing her punjabi top, with white shorts. I mean... hello... was character are u supposed to be? She said, "I'm a Bollywood porn star!" And I was lyk "......" Hahahaha...
The Giggly Girls' bday present for Eil! A hedgehog she named Popeye! Haha... so cute!
Here's the characters...
Kim - Bollywood Porn Star (u judge for yourself...)
Liza - Dead Schoolgirl
Carin - Dead Fairy
This foto is damn distubing... they all kinda freaked out when they saw this... PZ is.... SCARY...
Then we went down for dinner... and then do some stupid poses for camera... like this one:
(PZ.... is STILL.... SCARY!!!)
And that's Kim! She's the ultimate... went to stuff her boobs with tissue paper, well... cos she's supposedly a Bollywood porn star. And also made us touch her boobs to feel how hard they are cos of the tissues! Imagine that! None of the girls wanted to and she hold on to my hand and made mi touch her boobs! Ya anw... they ARE hard as rocks... haha. Maybe that's how silicon boobs feel like. She wanted to prove dat her boobs are really hard... so made Carin use her fairy wand to poke them... *shakes head*... that's juz so Kim...
The guys... 2 Mr Policemen, one sushi uncle, and the other... I dunno wad... mummy plus fairy?!?
That's me and PZ... this time not so scary cos she's a smiley vampire... =)
Me and the bday girl Eileen! The dead mamasan!!!
With lazy drunk policemen like these...
It's no wonder we have prisoners on the loose!
The vampire turned on the pornstar.... scary man...
The narcisstic us... Liza and moi...
The tongue piercing...
The drawn on tattoo...
Dead mamasan cutting her bday cake!
All of her frens!
And lastly, all the alcoholics ended the day!
Actually, the night has not really ended. Eil, Liza, me, MS, CY, Roy and his fren stayed over. Then cos I die die also dun wan to drink (beer.... YUCKS!), and Liza is damn tired. So we went up to the room trying to sleep, but ended up talking alot of nonsense and got high btw ourselves without the help of any alcohol. Haha... And then suddenly we hear banging below and we rushed down to see Eil in the toilet and the guys knocking on the door. They had a bit too much I tink... and she was trying to vomit or something. The guys also too much lor... she gg to puke alr MS still making her drink one last glass. Kena scolded by us. And then finally we could go to sleep... nto before Liza locked CY out of the room. Cos he wanted to share the room wif us, as in, taking the floor la, but she was so pissed wif him hogging the toilet dat she cant brush her teeth she happily locked the door. And we thought he'd juz go downstairs and join the rest to sleep in the living room. The next morning the guys told us he was sleeping outside the room door lor... using towels as his pillow and blanket. OMG... now I feel so bad...
Anw, had a really fun time yesterday. But now back to reality. I got 2 powerpoint group presentations to complete by tonight. And my part of the report for my sociolinguistics. Shit shit shit...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/09/2005 08:08:00 PM|
Just came back not long ago frm Eil's chalet... damn super tired... Charging my camera's battery now, will update on the party later.
Received quite a constant traffic of orders from my shop these few weeks... maybe some fren of mine have been strongly promoting it to their frens... haha. But anw, am really really happy to receive comments from buyers telling me how happy they are with their earrings, how much they like it and that they'll definitely buy more from me again. Recently this buyer that bought quite a few from me before ordered from me again... She ordered 5 pairs at first, den after the entire transaction is over, as in, I already sent her the items and she'd received them, she e-mailed me again not long after and ordered 5 more pairs from me. Adding to those she bought frm me last time... woooah... she can set up a white poppy earring collection liao man. Den saw this nice msg in my shop's guestbook... sigh... so touched. Wish I can replenish the stocks asap, but my projects!!! I was still sleeping at the chalet this morning and at 8 plus am, I received an sms frm my Sociolinguistics grp mate... saying we gotta send him all our literary research by today. I'm like.. WTH!?! Yeah... wth...
I'm gg to sleep now... at 12 pm in the afternoon...
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/09/2005 12:20:00 PM|
Saturday, October 08, 2005
My Darlings => Gwen & YY!Met up with Gwen and YY today.... ooooh... I miss them loads! My frens for the longest period of time, since Sec 1 ! And although now in NUS we're all on FASS, but we only meet lyk once in a few months? But I still love them!!! We went to this place in Cine for dinner, forgot the restaurant's name, but it replaced the old Lips Cafe. It's good! The food is good, the ambience is good... and... the price is good! Go before 6pm, got student rate... damn cheap! 3 of us only paid lyk 18 plus 19 bucks? Free flow of soup.... and their mushroom soup today is damn nice!!! And the best thing... I'd NEVER seen anything like this before. Shown on our receipt, 3 glasses of coke, typed one on top of the other, only the last one has $0.60 typed beside it. The other 2 had $0.00 typed beside it. We were damn amazed by it... dunno issit they made a mistake. I was was saying buy 1 get 2 free. Hahahaha... here's our $0.20 Coke... amazing....
Yes, it's really 3 glasses for $0.60... dun ask me how...
Me posing with my food. Restaurants should come appraoch me as their advertising model man... food not nice I also can make it seem nice. But anw the food there is nice la... I wasn;t juz posing...
And the following 2 pic is kinda embarassing... imagine two 21 yrs old girls doing this to each other... haha...
I took a foto of gwen taking a foto of me...
Gwen took a foto of me taking a foto of her... Notice we're now both cyclops.... haha...
Gwen took this candid shot when YY was figuring out the srudent menu thing. Then I forgot what she said, but it was lyk a great deal or stg, and both of us went "WAH" at the same time, and Gwen happened to capture that moment... haha...
Me and YY...
Me and my dearest twinny Gwen...
Me and YY again taken after we finished our meal, when the sky already turned dark...
Anw went to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin... dunno abt them, but I dun really lyk it. It gets boring after a while. But apparently Gwen said it's damn hilarious and she haven had such a great laugh for a long time. *Shrugs*
And that's the 3 of us, taken on the way home in the train. They're so nice, could take both bus or train, and even though YY uses bus pass, they took the NEL tog with me lor. Sigh.. wad can I do without these 2 babes man...
Anw damn tired now... chatted for too long on msn.... better go slp now. Tmr's Eil's costume birthday party! So fun! And cos I cant look ugly for her party... I HAVE to go slp now... otherwise tmr no need wad costume... the panda eyes are props good enough already... haha..
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/08/2005 02:08:00 AM|
Friday, October 07, 2005
Stupid Irresponsible SS Tutor!I was supposed to have a project consultation session with my SS tutor at 10am, this teaching assistant who, from my observation is a dealy smoker. (Loser). And when I went to find him together with my project mate, his room door is locked! We knocked so many times...no response. So we had to go to the Soci dept to ask them to contact him... and guess what? He juz happily said he's not free now, gotta book another consultation with him. And it's going to be on Mon... Mon which is my only free day! Ya, and my partner found out that that idiot is now at Tampines JC lor. I mean, if you cant be there for project consultation... let us know beforehand la! Stupid irresponsible idiot.
But anw my group mate was at the canteen having lunch when I went to look for her to go together for consultation. So I was sitting there drinking my ice lemon tea while she was eating her jap food. Then we were talking abt our project stuff la.. the usual. Then she suddenly said, "Can I ask you something?" (Note that I only see her for less than 5 times since starting of sem since our tut is on alternate weeks... so it's kinda abrupt to be asked this kinda personal thing from her, someone who I found rather uptight when she was gg on abt how strict a Christian believer she is etc etc) So of cos I said, "Yeah?" And leaned forward, giving her my best look of concern.
"Have you ever rejected a guy before?"
Wah! I knew that was coming... when pple ask you out of the blue "can I ask you something?", 85% of the time it's abt r/s stuff. But still, I was kinda shocked since she looks so uptight about everything, she plans her daily routine in her notebook everyday. I mean, she takes down "Meet Xuanwan today at 10 for project consultaion" in her notebook one lor! And moreover she only know me for lyk how long? Damn Liza's right... I really give pple the look of an Aunt Agony... even pple who dun noe me well asks me for advice. Hahahahaha!!!
Ya anw i was giving her advice and stuff la... damn weird... not as if I have alot of experience myself... wonder where I get my advice to give pple from? Oops...
Ya but after this I think I'd lowered my invisible brick wall towards her already... not as if we very close now... but at least I dun cringe inside at everything she says now la. She's ok la... but still a bit uptight abt stuff though...
Anw I'm thinking of charging all u pple for love consultation fees... I will charge by the hour. Note: I'm not an expert in relationships, but I am a so qualified expert in relationship consultations. There's a difference between the 2 ok... haha... experts in relationships need not be good love consulations. =)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/07/2005 11:19:00 AM|
Photoshop? NOT!My fren was telling me that he can photoshop me to look better. So I told him that I wan a sharper, higher nose. And this is what I got...
BEFORE
AFTER
My bro said I look lyk Michael Jackson. Now I decided that I'm pretty satisfied with my big fat nose...
** Credits to Alvin aka Lemon, who claims that the problem does not lie with his photoshop skills, but with my nose **
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/07/2005 12:38:00 AM|
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Heard this on radio today and found it very meaningful...
(Hope my Chinese to English translation will not change the meaning too much...)
Long long time ago, there was this king who never felt happy no matter how much wealth and fame he had. He wanted to know how one can be happy so he ordered his subordinates to comb his entire kingdom to search for someone who is truly happy.
For many years, the king's subordinates tried looking for someone who is truly happy in the kingdom, but for every person they came across will have something to be unhappy and unsatisfied about. Until one day they reached this poor farming village and saw this man happily singing at the top of his voice as he was ploughing the field. He seemed really happy. So they went up to him and told him about the king's orders. Upon hearing that, the man said that he is happy every single day. And they asked him how is it possible?
He said, "I used to be very upset and fret over not owning a pair of shoes, until I saw this man on the streets one day who does not have a pair of legs."
This is so meaningful, and so true. Everyone of us have lots of complaints, have lots of grumbles, about not owning this, and not owning that. But we cease to realize that there are many other people in this world who are way worse off than you. What is it about not having enough money to buy that new pair of Levis Jeans, when somebody in some other part of this world do not even have enough money to buy a piece of bread? So next time when you decide to moan and complain about something, try to stop and remember that compared to many others in this world, your complaint may be something very very trivial.
(Easy to say but I myself have problems doing it... haha, since I'm always complaining.)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/04/2005 04:30:00 PM|
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Happy 20th Bday Shih!!!Went to celebrate dear Shih's 20th bday today! Late la... but still, we had a great time! I mean, when has a Giggly Girls outing been anything but fun?? Haha! Here's a pic of me to kickstart the celebration! I was trying on Eileen's sunglasses and they were laughing at mi, say I look a bit wrong wearing it indoors, no matter how cool it may look.
Trying to act superstar, but looks lyk an idiot instead. But seriously, with the background light effect really got quite a superstar feeling... haha...
And then, our main entertainment of the day is our incredible duo , Liza and Kim! They are SO funny whenever they're together... seriously, they could go do stand-up comedies and I would pay to go watch them perform lor... haha!
Liza laughing hysterically at Kim with Kim giving that "wad, not happy ar??" look
Kim: Let me tell you all something about Liza.... psst psst psst
Liza: I cant take your nonsense anymore...
Surprising Shih with a Mirangue (pronounced "mi-ran-dz" but Kim insisted on pronouncing it "mi-ran-giu") Damn if only I still had my phonetics font, den can accurately show the correct phonetic symbols... bleah...
Pssst.... Shih seems to have something for lighted candles...
And that's the Giggly Girls! (Minus Carin again... but I tink she'll appear in the foto soon... *sniggers*)
Bonus pic! Took this after the rest went off and PZ, Liza and I went jalan-jalan arnd Suntec. Such a cute bear! Too bad that stupid woman blocked half of Liza... haha!
Had a great time today babes!!! Love the Giggly Girls! *Muackz*
(Next up will be Eil's bday.... jialat, still haven thought of wad costume to wear!!!)
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/02/2005 12:36:00 AM|
Saturday, October 01, 2005
This is damn weird....Hey pple, have u noticed the new feature in frenster whereby u can check who are the pple who have checked out your profile? Ya... I'm kinda swaku to only realise it now... but there's a very disturbing thing I found out. Since Sep 1, my profile has been viewed 146 times... and when I checked who are the pple who viewed me... there's only... 4. This is scary!!! Ok, one of the 4 is my fren, so ok. The other 3 not my frens. But how can 4 pple be clicking on mi for 146 times in an entire month!? My fren laughed at mi, say I better be careful, I may have some psychotic stalker hot on my heels.
Unless frenster is screwed up and got the statistics wrong... this is really something to be concerned about.... scary....
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* xuan * listened
@ |10/01/2005 02:34:00 AM|
